The monotonous drone of the distant voice gradually fades into the background, and the severe discomfort of the improperly shaped wooden chair begins to transform into relaxing coziness. A dominant force steadily overwhelms your eyelids, and your head commences its gentle descent to the open notebook below. You slip off into the realm of the subconscious as the endless minutes of your morning lecture slowly tick away.
All over campus, professors are gathering behind closed doors to celebrate success of their conspiracy to burden students with the simultaneous assignment of midterm exams and papers. As faculty members sip champagne and cackle like cartoon villains, students are left with the insurmountable challenge of attempting to function on unhealthy amounts of sleep.
Certainly, one may see symptoms of sleep deficiency in any lecture hall around the campus. Possibly the most noticeable indication that the student body is completely worn out is the widespread occurrence of involuntary head bobbing. As a person succumbs to sleep, the head slowly tips over, only to shoot back up with a jolt immediately before smacking into the nearest seat. On one occasion, I was startled awake during a lecture, only to realize I had a mouthful of hair belonging to the girl in front of me.
Whereas one might be able to base an argument for sleeping through lecture based on the delightfully refreshing taste of Herbal Essences, in-class napping has a variety of incredibly harmful side effects.
For one thing, I am often left with prominent marks on my face, a situation that may be exacerbated by the dangerous intensity of spiral-notebook imprints. Since I am incredibly reliant on the mystical allure of my eye-catching face, the imperfections that can result from falling asleep in class can be incredibly detrimental to my well-being.
In addition, taking a mid-lecture siesta carries with it the danger of increased drooling. While it is sometimes difficult for me to refrain from dripping minor amounts of saliva during a boring lecture even when I am completely aware, falling asleep can really open up the floodgates. Fortunately, I have developed a completely foolproof plan for avoiding spittle-related damage to important documents, the bulk of which consists of never opening my backpack during class.
There are also several methods that may be implemented to prevent sleeping in class altogether. One of the most popular techniques involves the mass consumption of caffeine or other stimulants, which can actually allow students to go for days on end without ever needing to sleep. Although the ability to stay awake for long periods of time can be helpful in the college setting, the hallucinatory effects of not sleeping can be slightly distracting, as it is difficult to concentrate on something like linguistics while the walls are moving and your pen keeps turning into a light saber.
As opposed to preventing the onset of sleep with chemicals, I tend to prefer more direct measures. For example, when I begin to feel tired, I often smack myself in the face repeatedly in the backhand fashion. In addition to sleep prevention, this technique may be used to help you avoid other unwanted behavior, such as eating unhealthy food and watching reruns of 'Full House.'
No matter what is done to prevent it, the sheer lack of sufficient time to sleep ensures that students will continue to doze off in class once in a while. Just don't sit in front of me unless you washed your hair this morning.
