Last Friday, Tom Green and Jason Lee stole not only Harvard, but also time and money from several unfortunate moviegoers. Going into \Stealing Harvard,"" one might anticipate the similar antics that Tom Green provided us with in his last Oscar-worthy picture, ""Freddy Got Fingered."" However, with a lack of gruesome injuries, animal genitalia and sexual pleasure via bamboo, ""Stealing Harvard"" doesn't even compare. Although ""Freddy"" received some of the worst reviews in movie history, the film's ruthless attempt did provide some laughs. Stealing Harvard, however, accomplishes nothing of the sort.
The movie begins by introducing Lee's character, John Plummer. John is a sensible guy who works hard as an executive at Homespital, a corporation specializing in home health care products and one of the only aspects of the film that provides the slightest chuckle. John wants nothing more than to marry his girlfriend, Elaine, played by Leslie Mann. John and Elaine have vowed to tie the knot now that they have finally saved $30,000 for a house.
The plot thickens, however, when John's poor promiscuous sister, Patty, calls to explain that her daughter, Noreen, has been accepted to Harvard. John must put his wedding plans on hold when he is reminded of a long-forgotten promise he made to pay for her tuition. With loans and scholarships, Noreen's tuition adds up to $29,829, which is coincidentally close to the amount of money John and Elaine have saved for their house. With the tuition due in two weeks, John, of course, can't tell Elaine about his predicament. Who better to turn to than his underachieving long-time pal, Duff, played by Green?
Duff suggests a series of petty crimes to acquire the money. Together, John and Duff devise several schemes, each one a failure, and painfully more unfunny than the last. First, they try to steal the money from an unlocked safe inside the house of one of Duff's landscaping clients. Instead of getting what they came for, John ends up in a blonde wig and a dress, ""spooning"" with the homeowner. They also try robbing a liquor store and hitting up John's future father-in-law, and the predictable ineptitude ensues.
For Jason Lee, whose acting has in the past often been endearing, and for Green, whose outrageous humor has marked him a success, making this film was a pitiful decision. Lacking anything amusing, ""Stealing Harvard"" creates an embarrassing end to a summer of good movies. In fact, any screenwriter of a script this awful should have taken the advice of Green in ""Freddy Got Fingered,"" and, ""stuck it in his bum-bum.""
