Not the least among the reasons why I should avoid hard liquor and drink schnapps is the fact that I felt all right this past Saturday morning. I didn't party especially the night before, but it was a decent binge.
The first party I attended found me consuming quite a few beers. I eschewed the junior high atmosphere in the living room for smoking on the deck and talking to the illustrious Ald. Mike Verveer, District 4.
Mike wanted to know why he never sees me at the Plaza, and I had to explain to him how my fake got taken away at the Lava Lounge. We both agreed that it is a terrible place and that we will boycott it. Of course the pain of remembering and extracting that moment made me thirsty.
I was anxious to leave when my ex-roommates showed up. I had another party to go to and I wanted very much to see someone there, but my roommates had just paid for a cup and were slow to leave. I felt I was getting a little tight, but was still in control. It was only 11 p.m. anyhow. So I chatted with the lovely Mari, one of the only people I actually recognize from my freshman year. It made me feel good to remember a face, so I drank slower.
We arrived at the other party and of course they were out of beer and people were leaving to go the bars. An event like that usually precedes getting reckless with whiskey. I get daunted. I get dead eyes. I stand there waiting for the world to end with a sickening complexion and a wobbly figure. Luckily the only bottles left were Malibu and apple barrel schnapps.
I paid $5 for the $3-bottle of DeKuyper apple barrel schnapps and began the drinking. I watched some homoerotic wrestling between guys who had recently lost out to the other sex. I had a cigarette. I mixed Malibu and the apple schnapps in a shot, popped in a piece of original Bubble Yum and swallowed. The gum appreciably lowered the alcohol kick and I was pleased that I did something good. Had I been drinking tequila I would have mixed it with something awful and called it macaroni, but I could still taste and feel and I knew that this trick was at least inoffensive to the mouth.
I believe the Replacements were playing in the other room, if it was Joy Division that fits too, because there's something wistful about liking schnapps. It's like you can experience the day after while the night is still happening. You get emotional but keep perspective.
I had left and was headed back up State Street when I decided to stand in the crowd outside of Stillwaters for a while. People cried or looked confused or saluted each other with chest bumps or lecherous looks and I was taking it all in. I assumed a journalistic stance and decided that I was fine and that these people were all wanting something more. One guy wanted my jacket and I set a price and stuck by it. We had respect. The man on the garbage can said he was standing on it just for me.
Had I been tyrannized by whiskey, I would have thought that everyone was happier than I was, but the schnapps let me keep perspective. Kmora, Malibu, DeKuyper'these are the products that will keep me undaunted when I feel that I'm heading towards numbness. Obviously, I could also not drink, but I do enjoy a good stopgap measure.
