Unlike, say, \White Oleander,"" ""Jackass: The Movie"" is virtually critic-proof. Those who enjoyed the show will probably go see the movie. Those who didn't probably won't. The question that must be asked by the critic, then, is whether Johnny Knoxville and company adequately ratchet up the entertainment in the transition to the big screen.
The epic opening scene immediately answers this question. A stunning combo of a more elaborate setup with the same cartoonish buffoonery, the viewer instantly knows that the bar has been raised.
The dramatically higher budget manifests itself in other ways throughout the film: Knoxville intentionally wrecking a rental car, a trip to Japan for the entire crew, or a fleet of golf carts at their disposal. Several times, they construct elaborate machines as to better hurt themselves, such as a catapult or a tidal wave machine. Also, guest stars such as Rip Taylor and Henry Rollins abound.
For all the expensive gags, though, ""Jackass"" is still a very base operation, and a number of the more primitive stunts stand out as well. It doesn't take a big budget to get Steve-O to pole-vault into a palm tree or trampoline into a ceiling fan.
All this adds up to an extremely enjoyable ninety or so minutes. Yes, it's stupid. Yes, it's offensive. But it's also endlessly inventive and creative, all anyone can ask from a movie.
Films that place themselves into the ""Tales From The Crypt"" genre are characteristically jump-fests that thrive on spooky music and gory special effects. More often than not, they contain cheesy stock characters and storylines that merely serve to put said characters into a haunted mansion. Well, the first strike against ""Ghost Ship"" lies in its premise: placing the action on a mysterious Italian cruise liner doesn't change the campy nature of the story.
Oddly enough, the film's first ten minutes are almost worth the price of admission. More disturbing than any scene in its Halloween box-office competition, ""Ship"" delivers possibly the most gruesome, disturbing death scene in recent memory. This setup, explaining the background behind the haunted vessel, results in the deaths of dozens due to a thin steel cable. Try not to cringe, you can't help but turn your head.
After this, the film sinks beyond all hope. Murphy (Gabriel Byrne) and Epps (Julianna Margulies) lead an Alaskan salvage expedition to the Antonia Graza, the Italian vessel introduced earlier. They discover the ship after receiving information from a mysterious stranger (Desmond Harrington)'of course, no one notices that this ship disappeared in the Atlantic Ocean roughly forty years ago and now appears in the Bering Strait. The crew investigates and encounters rats, maggots and slamming doors. Add the mysterious spirit of a little girl, $100 million in gold and other ghostly activities. As expected, the crew dies one by one, starting with the least recognizable actor first. As expected, there is the obligatory, obvious twist to reveal the villain who was there all along'and, as expected, the closing shot leaves us wondering if anything was resolved at all.
The entire plot could easily have been a simple cut-and-paste job, putting together bits and pieces from B-rate horror movies of the past. Where the film really bombs is its failure to achieve even the modest goals of the campy horror movie; except for the opening scene, there are hardly any jumps or scares, and no gore.
Most boggling about this film is the presence of Byrne (""The Usual Suspects"") and Margulies (""E.R.""); Byrne turns in a boring, subpar performance and Margulies is less than stunning. She turned down $27 million for two more seasons on ""E.R."" to ""spread her wings""' apparently that translates into going down with the ""Ship.""
