So there I was, relaxing at the Rathskeller after completing a midterm. A Spotted Cow in one hand and a copy of the Onion in the other. Now, the Rathskeller is probably not one of the best places to hold a private conversation due to the structure of the place, which allows conversations to be easily overheard. As it so happened, I overheard two ladies converse about the racial incident that occurred over at Witte. A black housefellow was told to go home because he was a
igger"" by some individuals who were probably releasing some tension because their sister-cousins didn't put out that night. What really disturbed me were not only the Witte occurrence, but also what I heard from one of the girls, for convenience's sake, named Trish.??
Trish: ""I, like, can't believe that happened. But that was one isolated incident. Racism is dead.""??
Wait a minute. It is? OH HELL YEAH! RACISM IS DEAD! I'm glad this TRL groupie had the insight to tell me that racism is as dead as the Badgers' chance to go to a significant bowl. But why didn't anyone tell me? I mean if racism is dead (like this lady said it was), why didn't Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton give a speech? Why weren't Sharon and Arafat hugging each other and singing ""Kumbaya?""??
Now don't think for one minute that I am jaded or cynical. I mean... racism is truly dead! Trish from Chicago (well, not exactly Chicago, but a suburb three hours from Lake Michigan, which is just like being in Chicago anyways), says its so! Not only that, but complete racial tolerance and understanding has been achieved. And to think we were worried about racial profiling. Now we can say confidently that no, there is no such thing as racial profiling because Trish doesn't believe in it! Also, I can put my fears of racial intolerance aside because the incidents are so isolated!??
* Amadou Diallo shot 41 times for pulling out his wallet in front of plainclothes cops? Thank God that was isolated!
* New Jersey dentist pulled over 50 times for driving the speed limit in his gold BMW. And each time he's been questioned if had any drugs or weapons in the car. And surprisingly, each of those 50 times was isolated. Thank Heavens!
* And now we can add Daniel Steinberg to this list of isolated incidents. But remember they're isolated, so still remember what Trish from Chicago says, ""Racism is dead""
But I still do not see Jesse Jackson's press conference regarding the death of racism. Where's Louis Farrakhan shaking hands with Rabbi Sacks? Where's Osama calling off his ""holy war?"" Maybe they didn't get the memo from Trish.??
All I know is that racial diversity is complete on this campus. Problem with minority student retention? Not here of course. Racism is dead here! Why photoshop me in a admissions packet! What do you mean we have a problem with retaining minorities? Didn't Trish tell you about the death of racism'
To Trish and people like her who believe that racism is dead, I plead to you. Please spread the word! Not enough people know that racism is dead. Apparently, the police don't have the memo and neither do those gentlemen who called Mr. Steinberg. But don't worry, they're just isolated racial incidents'?
Right?
