Well, in the spurt of UW's parking police, here to tow your car, since 1951. I am addressing the issue of American sport's heart being towed away by the bastard sport of NASCAR.
NASCAR is the most impure and unnecessary sport in America today. Even bowling has some merit, as a leisure time activity if nothing else. Heck, one can even consume a few beers throughout the course of a night of bowling. Meanwhile, Nascar remains a separate and terrifying entity. When was the last time someone attempted to hold an impromptu Nascar rally at the local race track? The answer: never.
NASCAR is the most vexing of sports because it shouldn't appeal to anyone. With sports like basketball, football or swimming there is a connection. Everyone can relate to shooting hoops at the park, tossing the pigskin or even racing one's friends from the pier to buoy in a lake.
With NASCAR this bond does not exist. Sure everyone drives a car, but who wants to watch others do it? The answer is a simple one: white trash. Only the boys from Dixie could invent a sport that requires participants to drive around in an oval 500 times and requires the spectators to wear \muscle shirts"" (hick speak for wife beater) with their favorite Nascar drivers on the front and his car's number on the back.
Now, I'm not necessarily saying that these sort of fashion trends are a bad thing, but dirty mustaches, mullets, aviator glasses and acid- dyed jeans went out of style back in '91; when Lauvray's Southern-fried cousin Clint made out with Billy Jean behind the outhouse, back down in Ohio.
An even more vexing aspect of this non-sport sub-culture is the emergence of popular culture's acceptance of this bizarre and decidedly crude sport.
One only has to half-listen to a broadcast of ""Sportscenter"" to hear the irritating voices of Stewart Scott or Kenny Mayne bring up Rusty Wallace, Jeff Gordon or Dale Earnhart, Jr., followed by a token, ""Jeff Gordon was Boo Yaaahin' all the way to the checkered flag."" Or perhaps he ""done made his kin folk proud.""
Meanwhile, more capable athletes are ignored by the mass media.
Basically, it's a scary proposition that so many people love watching cars zoom around a big track while more athletically gifted individuals are left on the outside looking in. It's fine for the Americans that do enjoy shooting squirrels in between swigs of Southern Comfort on their front lawns somewhere in Alabama, but what about the ones who, like, me are afraid of those 2nd Amendment practicing sons of soil?
