Do you know how hard it is to talk about sex all of the time?
How many hours of the week do you talk about sex? A couple of hours, maybe. I spend five hours a week talking with students about sex, three hours listening to lecture, one hour in meetings and at least an hour a week talking to the other Human Sexuality TAs about our class. Add onto that an extra three hours just because everyone around me can't seem to stop talking about sex. That is (insert adding machine sound effects here) 15 hours a week!
I promise you I don't study that much. I don't spend that much time eating or watching TV. OK, I might watch TV more than that, but I don't always have the sound on. I need the company!
I'm sure you don't care. If anything, you might be jealous. I get paid to do things that most people might consider goofing around. But, I am so tired of it! I can't wait until the semester is over. Not because I am tired of schoolwork, but because I am tired of sex.
What are you going to do when you go home for the break? I imagine that some of you will hang out with your old friends from high school and wonder how you could have grown apart in a period of four months. You will argue with your parents because they want to know what time you plan on coming home even though they haven't known when you were safely tucked into bed all semester long. You are going to eat a lot of chocolate. You are going to get sweaters from family members. You are going to drink too much on New Year's Eve.
Do you know what I will be doing? Hanging out with my mom watching PBS. Arguing with my dad about why sociology is a worthwhile thing to study. Doing arts and crafts with my perfect nephew. Irritating my little brother (he thinks that I am completely irresponsible). Watching bad movies with my friend Henry. Buying comic books with my friend Joe. Seeing local Austin bands with my pal Carole.
I will not think about gonorrhea. I will not wonder about the continuing gap between percentages of men and women who have orgasms with partnered sex. (Surprise! Men come out ahead.) I will not explain to anyone that sheepskin condoms, while good for people with allergies to latex, are really not worth the trouble since HIV can pass through (it is better to use polyurethane if you are allergic). I will not talk about the unionization efforts of exotic dancers in California. I will not talk about the social construction of gender.
Do you think I can do it? Will you promise not to hunt me down in Texas and bombard me with questions on vaginal fisting or follicle-stimulating hormone? Please, do me this tiny favor. Please don't make me talk about sex. In return, I will answer your questions when I get back to the cold north. Any questions you may have that have answers that are suitable for print will be treated with the utmost care, consideration and research.
