Ask Berman, Madden, or even J.B and the gang, and they'll probably all get it wrong.
If one were to quiz the top football analysts in the land, they'd probably say that the Green Bay Packers' 2002 season was one of struggle and adversity, and the Pack was ultimately done in by untimely injuries and an even untimelier defense.
But I know the truth. The real reason the Packers couldn't hack it this year was because they didn't eat correctly.
How can I be so sure? Glance through the pages of \The Green Bay Packers Family Cookbook Vol. II"" (2001, Marathon Press) and you can see the horror for yourself.
The book features no less than 171 recipes, about half of which come from the Packers themselves. The other half are courtesy of team coaches, staff and anyone even vaguely associated with the team (even interns get a recipe here).
All of the Packers' 2001 starters on offense and defense (many of whom are now gone) get at least one recipe in the book, but the best recipes in the book all come from the non-players.
It's clear that many of the players are used to a steady diet of quantity-over-quality, buffet-line food and were hard pressed to come up with some good recipes.
Some are way too simple to have any real taste, but even more discouraging are the uninspired recipes blatantly ripped off of grocery-store packages.
For a prime example of the Packers' shoddy diet, one must look no further than the top. The recipes from all-universe quarterback Brett Favre are pathetic: a really bland cornbread dressing and a tired recipe for Key Lime pie.
Favre is not the only recipe culprit in the book. Although his recipes are bad, at least they're not the generic rip-offs that some of his teammates used.
Backup quarterback Doug Pederson's pork chops come straight from the label of a package of Lipton's Soup Mix. Offensive lineman Frank Winters submitted a recipe for Pumpkin Patch Pie which reads like a Nabisco advertisement. I expected more from the Bag o' Donuts.
As if the players' own creativity weren't problematic enough, further complicating matters for the Packers' cookbook is the fact that Perdue Farms Chicken sponsors the book. Nearly half of the recipes call for chicken, which isn't exactly a staple of beer-and-brat-loving Packers faithful. And how many variations of chicken casserole are really necessary for one book? The cookbook is loaded with way too many such recipes.
While almost all of the players' recipes are awful, some of the Packers coaching staff and team employees actually have some pretty decent dining suggestions.
Kate Hogan, co-coordinator of the Packers Pro Shop, has an awesome recipe for stuffed mushrooms, nicely seasoned with bacon and onions and totally devoid of any unnecessary chicken. I would serve them with pride at any Super Bowl party.
For a tasty main dish, look no further than assistant defensive backs coach Lionel Washington's recipe for stuffed pork loin. The dish is surprisingly complicated, with a sweet stuffing of crab and lobster meat seasoned with Cointreau and fresh garlic. It's delicious and worth the effort.
As for the team, Darren Sharper is one player who actually has a pretty good recipe. The all-pro safety's recipe for Mom's Southern Potato Salad is a flavorful yet simple spin on the Sunday afternoon staple, accented by a hint of paprika and chopped pickles.
Another Packer player, linebacker Nate Wayne, has easily the best dessert recipe in the book, an explosively rich concoction simply called Sin. The dish calls for a stick of butter, an entire package of cream cheese, lots of nuts and both vanilla and chocolate pudding. It's a bit difficult to make, but the dessert tastes great.
While ""The Green Bay Packers Family Cookbook Vol. II"" has its flaws, the book has more than enough qualities to justify its $19.95 price tag.
The book has enough Packers-with-family-and-dog photos to please even the creepiest Packer Backer. Also amusing is Gilbert Brown's recipe for bran muffins.
And anyone with a chicken fetish will no doubt love the pages and pages of recipes that call for Perdue's finest. Still, anyone who isn't a Green and Gold die-hard or a serious chicken fan should probably pass on the cookbook.
My advice for the Pack this off-season: Stay positive, think Super Bowl 2004 and learn how to eat correctly.
Even John Madden himself can agree with me on that.
The ""Green Bay Packers Family Cookbook Vol. II"" is available from the Packers Pro Shop (1-800-992-5750 or http://www.packersproshop.com) for $19.95. All proceeds will benefit Green Bay Charities.
Brendan P. McCarty is a senior majoring in Journalism. Anyone who wants to talk football or swap recipes can contact him at bmccarty@wisc.edu
