I don't claim to be the smartest person alive, nor do I claim to be God or any other deity. I feel like there are some rules that people should just follow and the world could be a better place.
Actually, a lot of these are common sense but if there is one thing I have learned, it is that you don't necessarily need to have common sense to get into college. Anyway, here are my guidelines for a happier civilization.
Don't steal.
It's kinda funny 'cause I stole this almost directly from the Bible, but I think it's a good one. Don't do it! Especially, don't steal food from your own roommates 'cause that's just a low man.
If you are stupid, you should keep your mouth shut at all times.
This one's pretty self-explanatory. But it's a hard rule to follow since most dumb people aren't mute. Which is why...
If you are stupid and choose to talk, you should talk as much as possible.
Because then the rest of us can be endlessly entertained by you.
Sometimes I hear things said that are just so idiotic that I have to repeat them to all my friends, continuing the entertainment.
A good example of this is George W. Bush. His idiocisms entertain us long enough so that we may forget all the crap he's doing. For the well-being of America (and other countries too), he should never cease to talk.
When talking in public places, try to remember that people do in fact have ears and can hear you.
This one falls under the stupidity idea again, because these people seem to need the most help.
But one should never assume that just because you aren't talking directly to someone in the room doesn't mean they aren't listening to everything you say, and possibly spreading all your gossip to others.
Some friends of mine were in a coffee shop where they overheard two people talking about the time they stole credit cards and then maxed them out buying clothes, along with other felonies.
Smart, I tells ya.
If you subscribe to a certain group that has a stereotypical dress code, you must always dress in that fashion.
The most obvious example I can think of for this one is sorority girls wearing Tiffany's charm bracelets and shoulder bags (but never the same color, heavens no!).
The reason for this rule is that if members of certain groups stopped wearing their costume, no one would be able to identify them, and the world would most certainly collapse.
I could think of many more commandments, er, guidelines, but I think these provide a good starting point. The most important thing to remember is that if you are stupid, just try to tone it down a bit, please? Pretty, pretty please remember that.
