I'd like to profess my hatred for the movie \Clueless,"" starring Alicia Silverstone. It's so corny, ridiculous and far-fetched. Hundreds of drunken high school parties? Ditzy, half-naked women getting picked up in a friend's Porsche? More like a Hugh Hefner anniversary party than anything resembling a high school kegger.
Another Silverstone movie I could go without is ""Batman and Robin.""
And ""Excess Baggage.""
And ""The Babysitter.""
And ""The Crush.""
And ""Blast from the Past.""
And ""Rock Your World.""
All classic films by the charming actress that nobody took the time or money to watch.
Do they still give out those MTV golden popcorn awards?
Last week, ""Sports Illustrated"" writer Steve Rushin married WNBA star and former Connecticut All-American Rebecca Lobo. I couldn't believe the news.
Then I read in Rushin's weekly Sports Illustrated column, how the two encountered each other for the first time and it sparked my curiosity.
They met in a ""smoke-filled bar better suited for curing hams"" when Lobo confronted him to ask if he was the writer who ""mocked"" the WNBA and women's basketball in general. Lobo then questioned if he had ever attended a women's professional basketball game.
He hadn't.
She asked how he could make such claims about women's basketball without attending any games.
The job of a sportswriter, of course, is kind of like criticizing Alicia Silverstone movies that you haven't seen.
Lobo invited him to watch her team, the New York Liberty, play at Madison Square Garden. Needless to say, the ignorant insult was forgiven and Rushin proposed after a two-year courtship. Rushin said it was fate. After all, he ate Frosted Flakes while Lobo appeared on the box, and he was mad about her when she made a guest appearance on ""Mad About You.""
Now I'm no Ebert or Roeper, Rolling Stone editor or Entertainment Tonight producer, but I can tell the difference between a good and a bad movie. I've seen ""Clueless"" a couple of times and maybe a preview or two from the others-just about the frequency Rushin watched the ever-so-animated WNBA on Lifetime.
If only it were that simple. Ridicule the profession of your dream goddess and run into her ""by chance,"" only to hear her throw insolence right back at your craft.
Did I mention how badly ""Blast from the Past"" did at the box office?
This has to be fate. It worked for Rushin.
Are you listening Ms. Silverstone?
