Graduating seniors are plotting and scheming right now. Questions need to be answered. Where are they going to live? Who are they going to live with? What will a post-graduate apartment look like? Will they be able to take care of plants? How will they assert their post-graduate status? Will it be a job, a live-in girlfriend, the great American novel or a dog? A distraction is needed. Luckily, a great thing is about to happen. Amid the whirlwind of possibilities flitting before seniors arises a nice piece of solid ground to stand on: the party season.
The next two weekends will see two giant gatherings of people: Party in the Park and the Mifflin Street Block Party. Planning appears to be outlawed at these events. Chaos reigns supreme. Fear and loathing stalk unchecked.
People meet by chance. You will see them there, somewhere. So here's a short summary of what to expect at these two events.
Party in the Park is the epitome of a plan-nullifying event. It didn't even happen last year because of rain. It wasn't moved. It was just canceled. Were you expecting an indie rock or hip-hop act this year? You get Wookiefoot instead. You can't plan for this thing. I just hope that the weather holds this year because I moved next to the park for this. Now I know where the nearest beer and couch is.
For those who live far away, don't worry. Kids, bring your one-hitters, your half-and-half special cigarettes, and your soda bottles full of warm whiskey and Coke or strait Jag. Should dehydration, cotton mouth or the need to take a pill occur, the water fountain is conveniently located near the basketball courts.
Sit back and enjoy the crowd dynamics. There will be dogs too, and yes, they are for your entertainment. You must personally greet every single one.
Don't worry, because the dogs that get nervous around people who are whacked out on chemicals will be easy to see. Those dogs will be constantly growling.
If you are prone to getting the Fear, don't worry. The Party in The Park is held in a well-defined and easily abandoned space. Then again, Mifflin Street will terrify you.
Mifflin Street Block Party is dead to me. That well-defined space is what's lacking at Mifflin Street Block Party. It's supposed to be a block party, but since the riot of, I believe, '96, there is no drinking on the street.
This prohibition means that you have to pick a house and stay there. The tension between block party and house party leads to a certain resentment and an \I can do whatever I want in any house on this street!"" mentality. No one wants to pay for more than one cup, but they also want to move around.
They get wasted and drink from any keg, which causes fights. They treat houses as their own, and that can be dangerous.
Honestly, look out for each other, ladies and gentlemen, because last year there were a few rapes reported. That means there were actually more than a few, and one is obviously too many. So be warned that if you go you will probably have to deal with crowding, confusion, irrational anger and horniness all mixed together. The usual party risks, like my ego, are literally staggeringly inflated here.
There will be police at both events. At Party in the Park they will be keeping an eye out for your booze and weed, but they should be in a good mood. The crowd is pretty easy to watch and they're not particularly worried.
Mifflin Street will see a more edgy police presence. They're going to tell you to get off of the sidewalk with your beer, so just do it with no lip because they are going to let you drink underage. People are going to harass them and there will be disturbances at houses, so they have a right to be a little edgy. Be nice to them unless they start donning riot gear again. Then run away. So that's your party forecast. Forecasting the unforeseeable since 1981.
