Here's a little play that I adapted from \The Fall of Man.""
Satan: I am totally incensed. The Pop Tate that I worked for at the greenhouse, the Pop Tate that I trusted, is completely selling out. I know he's taken the new kid under his wing, and he doesn't want him to be anything like me. He told me that the liberal arts are important. I thought that I was an eminent success. I thought that my kind was the fairest and the brightest, even though none of us are employed.
He's taken a high-schooler under his green little sell-out wing and he means to retire and gift the greenhouse to him, right out of school!? Well, that kid has a girlfriend. I'll make my way down there and plant some dreams. Ruin Pop Tate's perfect little narrative. The high school love story is played out.
Oh hello, can I help you?
Hi, I'm Julian, I used to work in the greenhouse and I was just coming to say hi to Pop Tate. I'm doing a magazine piece on organic produce. Say, you look like you're about college age, what are you doing here?
Oh, that's so cool, but no, I'm not going to college. My boyfriend Adam and I are going to take care of the greenhouse for Pop Tate as soon as we graduate high school. Adam's gonna take some night classes at tech school.
Why not just go to real college?
Well, then we couldn't take over the greenhouse.
Listen, you're missing out. I know why Pop Tate doesn't want you going. He thought of this whole greenhouse idea when he was a philosophy major growing weed in his spare time.
Oooohh... well, who the hell are you?
I'm Julian. I write, hang out, see a show. All the coolest people do that crap. People see you in the coffee shop and are like, ""Man, what's happening this weekend?"" And you always know, and you don't do shit in the way of real work.
That sounds so cool.
Ethics, good and evil, but check it out. This old Roma lady-
Wha?
This old gypsy. Well, she gave me the power to transfer liberal arts knowledge and bestow a degree on anyone. You just have to hold this book and repeat after me: reification, antebellum, postmodern. You'll still be able to work here, you'll be able to talk to Pop Tate about all sorts of stuff. Or you can do whatever you want. A liberal arts degree gets you any job. Small side effect, you'll get a hotmail account.
Nifty. Are you sure, though? Pop Tate said a liberal arts degree is just a waste of head space.
Trust me.
All right: Reification. Antebellum. Postmodern.
I'm a Deus ex machina!
What's he talking about? Where'd he go? Adam, you gotta check this book out-it's about discourse.
What the hell are you doing with that book? Why aren't you watering the hedges?
This dude just gave me a liberal arts education with this old Roma spell.
Roma?
You know, gypsies, the largest and most harshly treated minority of Europe.
Then Adam gets the gypsy curse too, and Satan comes back and they go out, but Adam doesn't have any money so they cover him this time.
scavenberry@hotmail.com.
