There's villainy, there's super-villainy and then there's the Oakland Raiders.
Every year, Al Davis seems to assemble the most unlovable group of felons west of the Mississippi. And every year, they seem to make asses out of themselves and get away with it. Only in Oakland do the players refuse to take drug tests during their mandated time. Only in Oakland can Bill Romanowski strap a helmet on his 'roided noggin, beat the crap out of a reserve player (possibly ending his fledgling career before it started) and only get fined an insignificant amount of money. Only in Oakland can they justify keeping linebacker Eric Johnson, who videotaped Darrell Russell's date-rape of a girl at his home. Only in Oakland do they have an owner who sues the NFL every time he doesn't win a Super Bowl.
And only in Oakland are they all outdone by their kicker.
I mean, sweet jumpin' Jehosophat, why isn't Sebastian Janikowski in jail by now? Better yet, why hasn't he been deported?
Oh, I'm sorry. Maybe I'm a little rash. I mean, aside from the multiple drunk-driving arrests, the multiple boozed-up barroom brawls, getting caught with the date-rape drug GHB (along with an evidence-tampering charge) and trying to bribe a police officer, I bet Janikowski is a swell guy.
Usually kickers are not considered,well ... anything. They're the Diet Vanilla variety of football player. And when you hear \criminal"" and ""kicker"" in the same sentence ... Well, remember that episode of ""Full House"" where Scott Baio was the leader of Uncle Jesse's motorcycle gang? That's way more believable than a kicker being your worst-behaved player. I mean, hell, I bet the team trainer is more popular than any kicker because at least he can hook you up with some Vicodin.
But this Janikowski is a born thug. And not in your cute, Trick Daddy sort of way either. This guy was the bad one on Florida State. Do you know how messed up you have to be to be the bad one on some of those Florida State teams? Every time they flew for a road game it was like a scene out of ""Con Air.""
OK, we now have our receivers in restraints. Let's begin moving the linebackers ... Oh crap, Ray Lewis got loose! SECURE THE PLANE! SECURE THE PLANE!
With his track record, Janikowski shouldn't be on the Raiders anyway. He should be on the Cougars with the rest of those ""Playmakers."" He would fit in well with the medicated quarterback and the crackhead running back. Imagine having an alcoholic, date-raping sleaze on your special teams! What drama!
The saddest thing about Janikowski is that he has a serious problem, but it will be accepted within the Raider nation as a minor faux pas. The only time it seems the Raiders are worried about someone's health is when it hurts their chances for a Super Bowl. Barrett Robbins? Hell of a center. Sure, he has that tiny thing called bipolar disorder, but we don't care... until he costs us the Super Bowl! That prick, no loyalty to the team, I tell ya!
So just watch the legal proceedings because it'll be interesting. Janikowski will get a Romanowski-patented finger wag and a ""don't do it again"" as his punishment. And he'll get drunk again. And he'll break stuff again. And the Raider nation will live in denial that perhaps some of their players should be in jail instead of on the field... again.
Michael Jones can be reached with comments at michaeljones@wisc.edu.
