Around 3:30 p.m. Saturday, on the Northwestern campus, I came to the realization that I was never prouder to attend the University of Wisconsin-Madison than at that moment right then and there. Trust me, it had nothing to do with our impotence on the field (couldn't you just hear Coach Alvarez' post-game pep talk? \Don't worry fellas, it happens to a lot of guys""). A lot of it had to do with the fact that I was going to return home and escape the most god-awfully boring place on the face of this earth:
Evanston, Illinois.
Now I'm not saying that Madison is Shangri-La, but Evanston should be renamed Hooverville for sucking so much. I should have known that this place was dead when Cary, Arvind, and I entered city limits and the first thing we saw was a cemetery. If Chicago is known for the ""Blues Brothers,"" than Evanston is its tone-deaf, uncoordinated half-cousin who wrecks all family social gatherings by thinking that he can dance and crashes into the bandstand because he had one-too-many wine coolers. I mean, sweet Jesus, this city is a ""dry"" city! Who the hell is the Chief of Police, Rex Banner? I thought prohibition and ""dry"" cities went out of style with flapper skirts, Herbert Hoover, and phrenology. But here is Evanston, proudly entrenching themselves in the 1920's. It makes you wonder if women can vote in this city.
And the campus is not exactly a live-wired place either. Northwestern fans walking to and from the game walked like they were on their way to church. No talking, no smiling, no music permeating the air. Just the sound of people walking. I must have walked three miles around the campus and I could not findone person screaming:
""GO WILDCATS!""
Mind you, this was their homecoming. Wow, you guys sure have some team spirit! Who's your mascot, Eeyore? They might be called the Wildcats but they act like pussies (the cats, not the other thing... you know, whatever).
Come on Evanstonians, it was homecoming and the stands were almost bleeding red. And then, they use that, ""That's alright, it's okay you'll be working for us someday,"" chant in order to justify any shortcomings they have as a campus. Yeah, that chant worked pretty well... when I was still in high school. In all honesty, I might work for a Northwestern grad one day, but at least I know that my Statistics 301 TA would be more fun to hang out with than him or her.
After discovering that the Northwestern campus has fewer bars than Wisconsin does on that inlet on Henry Street (Plaza, Bullfeathers, Crave, Stillwaters), I eventually was able to find parties at two places. One was a tailgate by some Badger fans. The other was the Wisconsin Alumni Association tailgate.
When I told them about my plight as a Badger who couldn't find any pre-game cheer, I was quickly given 24 ounces of Miller Lite by a sympathetic alumna. ""We look after each other,"" Kristen (class of 1991), said to me. We partied and talked like two friends who had known each other forever.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've all heard that college is for learnin', not liquor. And yes, Northwestern is considered an overall better college than Wisconsin. But these aren't merely the years in which we pad our resumes with grade point averages, internships, etc. These are the years to pad our memories with game days, parties that go from Thursday to Sunday and the other pleasures that we experience after taking care of business.
We have the rest of our lives to make a name for ourselves in our various careers, but the time to enjoy oneself in the company of their friends on a campus like this is precious.
So give them their victory. Because when it's all said and done, the best thing to come out Madison is The Onion, while the best thing to come out of Evanston is I-94.
Mike Jones is a senior majoring in political science and international relations. His column runs regularly on Thursdays. He can be reached at mikejones@dailycardinal.com.
