The response to my call for nominations of the top \Saved by the Bell"" episode was overwhelming. Each of the five e-mails made a strong case, and I would not wish this judge's task on anyone, even those Valley jerks. Without further ado:
Third place: Jessie gets addicted to caffeine pills. As one reader wrote:
""...it is not just that classic scene [I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so ... scared.] that makes this the cream of the Bayside crop. ...Screech breaking into the girl's locker room dressed up as a female janitor named ""Sinead O'Connor"" or Zack's father having a friend who is looking for a female New Kids on the Block.""
He went on to say that if I chose any other episode, he'd hate me. Unable to pass up that opportunity, I awarded this episode third place. It is a fine episode, deserving of an award, and third place seems appropriate, since it's essentially meaningless and vaguely insulting.
Second place: Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs Rap Musical/Jessie-Zack Infatuation.
Like the third-place winner, this episode melds pop-culture, an all-cast musical performance and the pitfalls of substance abuse. Zack, Prince Charming to Jessie's Snow White, is hopped up on ether, and the kiss they share during rehearsal holds special meaning for both. Kelly (Wicked Stepmother) and Slater (a Dwarf) find out. Desperate for clarity, Jessie and Zack sneak into the auditorium to kiss again. Jessie discovers the intoxicating numbness of the original lip-lock was due to Zack's ether breath, not his patented kissing technique. Zack realizes Jessie's an annoying, shrill-voiced snob, impossible to tolerate without significant ether intake.
The episode closes out on opening night of the musical, which Jessie and Zack secretly rewrite so the Bayside couples end up together, regardless of the original Snow White plot.
First place: Bayside's Black Gold.
Oil is discovered on the Bayside campus. Anxious to exploit the resource, Mr. Belding plans for school-wide renovation, including an Olympic-sized pool and a new football stadium. Jessie is the sole voice of dissent, worrying over the drilling's potential harms, and she faces ridicule from all sides.
There's an oil spill, flooding the on-campus pond with toxic black sludge. The duck with whom Zack shares a special relationship dies, prompting a change in his values. Zack bursts into the meeting between Belding and the oil company, squirting oil on the oil executive's shirt. The student body stands behind him and Belding tells the executive it's a no go on the drilling.
What makes this episode number one is that, at its heart, it's about Bayside, not the students. The characters are but transients moving through an impersonal institution, and this conflict-the inevitable change wrought upon the kids by the institution, and the kids' ultimately fruitless attempts to create change rather than influence it-is the driving force behind the series.
The students can't stop the drilling themselves, just as they can't run a betting pool on which algebra problem the teacher will solve that week, or operate a pasta sauce company from the Home Ec room. They work within the system, not against it, controlled by the very bells purported to save them.
chunkkicke@yahoo.com.
