January is the magical time of year when studios dump movies that have been shelved, are terrible or seem likely to flop. In the three weeks since we sang \Auld Lang Syne,"" we have already been greeted with ""Torque"" and ""My Baby's Daddy."" But do not worry. With only a precious week-and-a-half to go in this magnificently terrible month, there is still time to maliciously enjoy other people's whoopsies.
Movies like ""Big Fish"" and ""Cold Mountain"" get released before the end of the year so that they are eligible for Academy Awards, but obviously, Dreamworks does not have that concern about ""Win a Date With Tad Hamilton!"" nor should they. Kate Bosworth launched her career by looking good in a bikini in ""Blue Crush."" ""Tad Hamilton"" seems poised to show that in the world of flaxen-haired, bikini-friendly young actresses, Bosworth belongs in a category with Julia Stiles-several notches below the likes of Reese Witherspoon and Kirsten Dunst.
But it could be worse. Most people are noting ""The Butterfly Effect"" as the first dramatic role for Ashton Kutcher. But wait, there's more. It is also an unapologetic ripoff of a Ray Bradbury classic ""A Sound of Thunder,"" which is already being made into another movie with Edward Burns. But wait, there's more. While people may roll their eyes at a drama starring Ashton Kutcher, the filmmakers also managed to cast Amy Smart and Ethan Suplee (the fat guy from ""Road Trip""). There has to be some law against casting a suspense-thriller with two actors from ""Road Trip"" in addition to Ashton Kutcher.
Want to laugh at somebody else's mistake before you settle down to watch the Super Bowl? Check out ""The Perfect Score."" We might think of Scarlett Johansson as a compelling lead actress with Golden Globe nominations for ""Lost in Translation"" and ""Girl With a Pearl Earring,"" but before the success of her two latest gigs, Johansson signed up to play the bad girl role in this goofy teen crime movie. Whoops. Who knew she would be too good to be in a movie with the star of ""Swimfan"" (Erika Christiansen), a middling NBA star (Darius Miles) and the director of ""Good Burger.""
Perhaps the one saving grace of the month will be ""The Big Bounce."" Not only is it directed by George Armitage, who brought us the modern classic ""Grosse Pointe Blank,"" but it is based on a novel by Elmore Leonard. Not all Leonard adaptations have been winners and society has been cruel to ""Jackie Brown,"" but ""Get Shorty"" and ""Out of Sight"" have shown us that directors with a flair for violence and humor can go far with a Leonard project. Of course, there are still plenty of doubts. Morgan Freeman can't elevate a bad movie alone, Owen Wilson in a leading role is always risky, and a model as his leading lady is even sketchier. If there is anything we know about January, it is that you cannot trust anything that comes out of Hollywood.
But if you are feeling sad that January is almost over and you are missing all the comical career missteps, do not worry. There is still February, when you can see the Jesus movie directed by Mel Gibson. Or you can see ""Against the Ropes"" with Meg Ryan. After nobody went to see her have raunchy sex with Mark Ruffalo in ""In the Cut,"" Meg Ryan is in a tough spot, and it is a good bet that a boxing movie with Omar Epps probably will not help.
