Valentine's Day is approaching. And whether you're single or coupled, it's there staring at you, waiting for you to react. But for those of us who aren't in the mood to clothe ourselves in red and play Romeo or Juliet, let's not delay the inevitable. Let's not ignore the white elephant in the room just because we're scared to face it. Mount up, folks. It's time to take Valentine's Day and make it ours.
First of all, we need to stop making Valentine's Day about couples. Let's face it: Most college couples are just a way of making regular sex official. Think of the couples around you. How many of them ran out of conversation six months ago? How many of them say \I love you"" every third minute because they've run out of anything else to say? Not all relationships in Madison are meaningless, but there isn't so much true love out there that the rest of us should have to feel like love-life equivalents to Dennis Kucinich just for being single.
Second, we all must stop using Valentine's Day as a day to regret the mistakes we've made in our love lives. Every February, people mope around, sobbing and wondering where they went wrong. But that's a waste of time and hardly makes for a good holiday. The next time you're obsessing over the boy you shouldn't have taken for granted or the girl you should have told you loved her, just think of chaos theory. If you had done things differently in the past, you may have horribly altered the future, like that crappy Ashton Kutcher movie. If you had asked out that cute classmate from your comm arts class last semester, there might now be a terrible plague wiping out half of India.
Above all, we need to celebrate Valentine's Day by doing things that make us happy, instead of comparing ourselves to others. Don't reserve a table for one, only to longingly gaze at the candlelit couple across the room from you. Instead, you should lock your door, close your blinds and watch stupid comedies that no girlfriend or boyfriend would ever want to watch. You should throw on some happy music, then jump up and down on your bed all night long, only taking breaks to drink Yoo-Hoo and belch loudly.
Or maybe you should use the day as a test of your inhibition. See what you can dare yourself to do in public. Show your ass to strangers. Dance on tables. Do your Axl Rose impression until somebody hits you. Say lewd things to strangers in whatever foreign language you used to study. Not only will you be brushing up on your French, but you'll be challenging yourself in fun and exciting ways.
And even if Yoo-Hoo and Axl Rose aren't your idea of a party, you should still find a way to treat yourself right. In the end, Valentine's Day is about love, and it should be about giving love where it's needed. Call your family. Hug your dog. Show some love to the underappreciated members of your community, like fire fighters, public school teachers and Daily Cardinal columnists.
And above all, pamper yourself. It's time to do Valentine's Day and it's time to do it right. Have a great Valentine's Day and have it on your own terms.
Amos Posner is in his fourth year out of five. He can be reached at amosap@hotmail.com
