It seems that just about everyone I know is writing a book. Some people think it's a quick, painless process, and they figure they can hammer out 120,000 words in a few weeks and watch the cash roll in. Others spend years pouring their guts out in a book and then flip out over every stage of the publication.
But no matter how the book evolves, the author will eventually face a grueling ordeal-having their book reviewed, and, knowing that whether it is positive or negative, that review will end up in the public eye. Having been one of the critics for a long time now, I want to offer some suggestions to those folks who are preparing to send out books for review.
For starters, get your act together! I have had three-not one, but three-people pull this particular stunt. They ask me to review their book. Fine. Then they tell me that putting the book in hard copy is too expensive and want to e-mail me the book. That, my friends, is a HUGE attachment. It also shows a disturbing lack of professionalism. This book has been the focus of your life for a long time, and you won't invest the $20 it takes to make a copy?
Also, aspiring novelists, learn how to write a sex scene. I have read some really bad ones. Avoid the clich??, and come up with new terms for body parts. Do not use the term womanhood to describe a woman's sex organs. Do not refer to the penis as a member, rod, root, sword or velvet freight train.
The worst clich??, however, has to be the term \throbbing manhood."" Over-used. OVER-used. (Of course, my friend Worzala argues that might be why it's throbbing.)
Also, edit your book before sending it out. I got a copy of a book to review and it looked great, to start. But I soon grabbed a hi-liter and began to mark all the errors I found. I found 132 by the end of the second chapter, and quit reading. A typo in the middle of a good story causes a hiccup in the reader's brain and distracts him or her. Ten or 20 get downright irritating.
And lastly, dear writers, don't tell us how to do our job! Yes, it is hard to give a book adequate focus in order to write a fair critique. But don't try to be helpful. I recently got a letter that basically stated, ""When you review this book, be sure to mention the beautiful flow of writing, due to the author's knowledge of the town in which it was set, and also don't forget to point out that the author injects a lot of hard-hitting humor into the book, but she blah blah blah..."" Actually, in retrospect, that letter was very helpful. I used it to light my grill.
Taniquelle Thurner is a senior majoring in journalism and Scandinavian studies.
