Roommate wars are an annoyance that all students face in their college careers. The arguments are about whose turn it is to unload the dishwasher, take out the trash or remove that nasty, drain-clogging hairball from the shower. The problems become more serious when the slacker roommate refuses to pay the Internet bill five months in a row.
Thermostat settings, unlocked doors, noisy sex and unyielding political convictions are just a few of the countless sources for heated roommate conflict. In my house, things were a little different. The ducky-themed toothbrush holder was the cause of strife between me and my roommates.
It has four distinct spots for toothbrushes. Three of my roommates' toothbrushes occupy three of the four spots. I do not use the fourth spot because I prefer to keep my brush in the shower.
After a week of school, a mysterious handwritten note appeared tacked on the wall above my brush. It read as follows: \Here lies Nitin's toothbrush: It was too good to stand like everybody else's.""
I was flabbergasted by the audacity of the anonymous note-writer, and took this opportunity to give my input on the situation. The note made an overt attempt to criticize my toothbrush for being original. When did being innovative become a crime? And now my toothbrush is berated for showing signs of uniqueness.
As a strong believer in individual rights and liberties, this note represented all that is wrong with the suppression of individualism. The ultimate result of following the note's suggestions would stifle innovation and curtail progress in the field of toothbrush placement.
Ayn Rand once said, ""the smallest minority on Earth is the individual. Those who deny individual rights cannot claim to be defenders of minorities."" Individual rights are being trampled on in our society by affirmative action, high taxes, over-regulation and a socialist control of toothbrushes.
I posted the following response directly above the aforementioned note:
""To stand with the other toothbrushes would validate the failed collectivist philosophies of socialism and communism. There is no 'common good.' It is against human nature to believe that people could possibly work for the 'common good.'
""Central planning can only fall victim to the whims, wishes and desires of an absolute power. In this case, the central planner is trying to dictate that Nitin's toothbrush lies with the others. This would be an inefficient and undesirable scenario. Nitin's toothbrush is an individual, with its own design, needs and wants.
""In terms of philosophy, consider Nitin's toothbrush as the equivalent of Nietzche's 'overman.' Most toothbrushes are weak creatures, merely influenced by the acts of others. There is no freedom; there is no individual; there is no liberty. Nitin's 'over'-toothbrush attempts to rise above the passive ones. It is not isolated, but working beyond the limitations set forth by the socialist planners.
""Nitin's toothbrush hopes to follow in the path of the greatest individualists of all time: Ayn Rand, Friedrich Hayek and Milton Friedman. With reason as its compass, and reality as its path, the brush will prevail.
""Toothbrushes are not the same. For this reason, they should not all be treated in exactly similar manners. Some toothbrushes need more space or air. Other toothbrushes prefer a better view. Some brushes are hard workers, and deserve better awards. Other brushes are slackers, and should not 'free ride' on the hard working toothbrush's efforts.
""Imagine the mundane results of following your prescriptive program. All incentives to innovate would be lost without the competition. Our toothbrushes would look alike, act alike and espouse mediocrity. The bristles would be the same length, the angled neck would be lacking, and we would be unable to properly clean our rear teeth or gums. Only through individualism are some bristles harder and other bristles longer. Only through modernization, capitalism and competition does the United States produce the greatest toothbrushes in the world.
""Innovation is lost with the socialist ideas set forth in your declaration. May the individual break the shackles of your collectivist ideologies...""
So one should take note the next time there is a central planner attempting to control the means of production. Most likely, the person who knows what is best for the masses is attempting to gain power. In this case, the original note writer is trying to coerce my toothbrush into behaving exactly like his. But my toothbrush is an individual and that is why it will succeed.
Nitin Julka is a senior majoring in computer science and psychology.
