Ever since last weekend when the powers that be snatched away an hour of precious sleep in the name of daylight savings, things have just seemed off. I've been tired, restless and unable to summon the energy to verbally assail Bush campaign ads with my usual gusto.
So, I began to wonder if there could be some unarticulated psychological syndrome afoot. Seasonal Affective Disorder is often blamed for such effects at the onset of winter-who's to say there isn't a springtime version?
Many symptoms of conventional SAD can easily be rationalized to fit the current season. For one, sleep trouble and resulting lethargy can be attributed to the greater amount of daylight, warmer temperatures and open windows.
Another symptom, overeating and weight gain, is also suited to spring. The snow, slush and biting winds that stood between you and numerous sources of unhealthy food have receded, the carts are out on Library Mall, and ice cream re-emerges as an appealing snack option.
And of course, there's the depression. Just call me Merry Sunshine, for as I see it, there are just as many reasons to be depressed going into spring as going into winter.
Sure, from one side, spring is the season of renewal and rebirth, when nature's glorious cycle of being gears up for another turn. But when you consider it from another perspective, as we fine university-edjumucated folk are trained to do, this \spring of hope"" can look downright desperate: Everything's just going to die again come fall. What's the point?
There aren't any decent holidays from here on out either. Easter becomes just another joyless, vacation-less day soon after your age hits double digits, particularly if you're among the deitistically unencumbered or not all that enamored of canned ham. And arming a pair of Peeps with toothpicks and watching them joust it out in the microwave, though oddly thrilling at first, loses its novelty rather quickly.
Spring semester also means the onset of ""senioritis"" for soon-to-be graduates and underlings alike, that insatiable parasite which sucks up much of the motivation and self-delusion normally channeled into academic pursuits.
But before you give in to the futility of it all and decide to abandon collegiate life altogether, take a moment to search out some tidbits of positivity.
For instance, better weather does broaden the search area beyond the Humanities Building and make for trickier target-spotting, but ultimately allows for more inconspicuous stalking of music majors.
Warmer weather means more exposed skin, including some that probably shouldn't be, often beached on Bascom Hill. But also on the fashion front, a whole new spectrum of footwear options flourishes in the absence of ice and salt-in my experience, a stylish pair of shoes provides instant retinal relief from all but the worst ocular offenses.
Indeed, there are more annoying people perpetually about, but there are also more squirrels. And come now-who doesn't like squirrels? I even talk to them. And I suppose any time of year that affords more opportunities to say ""Why, hello, Mr. Squirrelly Squirrel!"" in a voice akin to a hopped-up Katherine Hepburn with a British accent can't be all bad...
Damn, I need a man.
