It is early enough in the semester that freshmen are still finding their way to the rumored houses with keg parties or testing fake IDs, experimenting with new freedom and, for many, with their sexual choices. As I began college, one of my older brothers gave me a rather awkward warning about watching out for myself and angrily told me a story about a female friend who had been raped by a male acquaintance after she passed out at his house.
His story isn't unusual; a 1995 survey found that 12.1 percent of seniors reported they had experienced \at least one act of intercourse or oral sex against their will"" while attending UW-Madison. The warning was also timely; statistically the most sexual assaults occur during the first few months of the school year, with freshmen being the most at risk. We ought to be outraged about this, as college is a time for many new experiences, but recovering from sexual trauma shouldn't be one of them.
A slogan that many of us likely heard growing up, but has yet to outlive its usefulness is, ""No means no."" Sexual boundaries can seem blurry, especially when alcohol is involved, but sex is only consensual when consent is actively given-in other words, consent is not the absence of struggle but the proactive action of ""Yes."" A person that is passed out, asleep, extremely drunk or otherwise drugged is not in a position to give proactive consent to sex or sexual acts. Sex with a person who has not given active consent is rape. Oral sex is ""real"" sex and you can get sexually transmitted diseases from it. The fact is, coerced oral sex is still sexual assault. Rape is not based on whether or not you know the person-date rape is the most common form of sexual assault, especially in college.
There are powerful social norms and categories that lead to sexual assault. The common stereotypes of the ""good girl"" and the ""slut"" play a powerful role in muddying our ideas about rape. The ""good girl/slut"" dichotomy is detrimental to all women and categorizes women based on their behavior toward men rather than as autonomous people. ""Sluts"" are supposedly some segment of the female population (tellingly, we haven't got a word for male slut) who are constantly ready and willing to have sex with any male at any time. On a college campus the word ""slut"" is thrown around without much thought: ""That girl is talking to the boy I like-what a slut,"" and ""Hit on her; she's easy.""
Many men, including many men in Madison, still have the idea that a short skirt, flirty behavior and drunkenness equal an easy lay. Flirtatious behavior does not guarantee sex. In fact, ""sluts"" do not exist. Sex is a personal choice and women can have as much sex as they want with as many men as they want (provided it is consensual and protected) and still retain the right to abstain from sex when they want to. Clothes, no matter how revealing or ""slutty,"" should have no bearing on a woman's sexual choices.
These honest messages about sex have not had a wide enough impact in part because they have had to compete with a lot of other negative messages. The fight to eradicate sexual violence must be supported from the top down. Political leaders, Lt. Gov. Barbara Lawton being a shining example in Wisconsin, must have the political will to truly encourage change rather than ignoring the issue. Men must take personal responsibility and we all need to take political responsibility to stop accepting sexual violence as a necessary evil in our communities and commit the resources to make its eradication a reality.
