Halloween is the only time of year when I stuff my bra.
Unapologetically, with wads of dirty-bottomed athletic socks.
No matter what my costume is: sexy nurse, sexy cat, sexy port-a-potty, my attire always allows for some carefully planned bosom-boosting.
I can't help it. There's just something about Halloween in this town that makes acting overtly sexual in atrociously stereotypical ways a truly beautiful experience.
The obvious reasoning for such behavior is that disguising ourselves on Halloween allows us to cast off responsibility for our actions because we've taken on the identity of another. This leads us to do things we want to do but normally would not.
But parading around as a sexy rock star with a thick pair of sweat socks spilling out of my strategically revealed bra? Is this really what I want?
Well... sort of.
There are some things in life we just can't help-like the way we were raised. Though the '80s fostered a decent cohort of \biology isn't destiny"" feminists, this gender identity renaissance apparently never hit my grammar school.
Instead, I spent my days fascinated by the all-male Ninja turtles' ability to save the world and simultaneously gobble pizza while the comically dressed April flitted around with a steno pad.
So yes, the majority of us grew up learning mostly traditional gender roles.
But now, our consciences as well as the fickle god that is pop culture, are telling us to embrace something new: a broad spectrum of gender roles and sexual identities.
Gay is cool.
Lesbianism is even cooler.
Traditional gender roles and identities are not.
And, being the urban-outfitted college kids that we are, we've caught on. We're hip. We're progressive. And dammit, we're gonna positively sanction atypical gender identities even if we don't know what the hell it means to do so.
But let's admit it, keeping up with trends is exhausting. Especially trends, like those relating to sexual identity, that affect almost all areas of our lives from the way we dress to our alcoholic beverages of choice to who we bring home to mom and dad.
So quite possibly, Halloween gives us some much-needed relief from constantly trying to (or pretending to) understand and support a complicated system of gender identities that functions nothing like beloved childhood staples from The Little Mermaid to Married with Children.
We now know the narrow definitions of sexuality we grew up on just aren't cutting it here in the world of ever-expanding gender identity terminology (See evolution of G to LGBT to LGBTQ). And it is true, the extreme gendering and sexualization of Madison Halloween means we're participating in an annual relapse into offensive, inaccurate and simplistic definitions of gender.
But don't we deserve an opportunity for a sexual catharsis and youthful indulgences?
If we purge ourselves on Halloween, we'll have more patience to help break down destructive gender and sexuality misconceptions the rest of the year.
Sounds slightly illogical, I know. But this sexy columnist wouldn't have it any other way.
Emily Winter is a junior majoring in sociology and journalism. Her column runs every Tuesday in The Daily Cardinal. She can be reached at ewinter@wisc.edu.
