There is no other genre that has as many bad sequels as horror. It seems that every other type of movie fails to achieve both the stupidity and the number of horror sequels. There is a strange dual nature to bad horror films, as they disgust you with their incompetence yet draw you in with their mostly unintentional comedy. Just in time for Halloween, here are the worst of the worst from horror sequels.
'Psycho 3'
Even if you ignore the fact that this movie continually tries to desecrate the memory of its brilliant source material, it's still an awful mess of a movie. Maybe Anthony Perkins wouldn't have spent his entire career pigeonholed as Norman Bates if he hadn't spent the 1980s revisiting the character. After being released from an insane asylum in \Psycho II,"" Norman Bates now runs the Bates' Motel with the help of a greasy, aspiring singer/songwriter named Duke. Norman then meets a failed nun and falls in love, but Norman's attachment to his mother continues to manifest itself in unhealthy ways. To really understand the plot of ""Psycho 3"" you have to see ""Psycho II"" (I hope this article is the only time that the phrase ""You have to see 'Psycho II'"" is ever used), but it doesn't make things any better. ""Psycho 3"" is the kind of movie that leaves you feeling like you need a shower.
'Scream 3'
""Scream 3"" isn't as bad as other horror sequels when viewed as an isolated unit, but the very idea of it and the hypocrisy behind the ""Scream"" sequels is entirely too much. It's a bad movie, and a boring one at that. While it was really just a mish mash of every horror clich?? since ""Halloween,"" ""Scream"" was enjoyable, and featured good acting, directing, and as much character development as can be allowed in any slasher movie. The whole point of ""Scream"" was to point out the traits, silliness and shortcomings of other horror films. So what did director Wes Craven do? Make two sequels that commit the same sins the first ""Scream"" made fun of. The first ""Scream"" sequel had at least some originality or humor, but ""Scream 3"" thinks of it itself so highly simply because it's excruciatingly postmodern. Any debate of this can be resolved in the scene in which Jay and Silent Bob show up, which is quite possibly the worst movie cameo ever.
'Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2'
The first 'Blair Witch' was entertaining because it stayed simple; the second forgoed that simplicity to cash in on the name. If anyone understands what the hell happened in this movie and can give any reason why it is anything but the cinematic equivalent of athlete's foot, it's a better movie than I give it credit for.
'Friday the 13th Part 7: The New Blood'
After surviving not one, but two movies featuring Cory Feldman, it seemed there was nothing that could stop Jason's Voorhees vendetta against fornicating teenagers.
In an effort to even the playing field, Paramount decided that the seventh installment of the series needed a teenage heroine with psychic powers. ""The New Blood"" implausibly believes it actually has a character written well enough so that the audience actually cares whether she lives or ends up as compost. A backstory is developed about how the girl accidentally killed her father with her psychic powers when she was young and then ends up at Camp Crystal Lake with her corrupt psychiatrist (played by Terry Kiser, best known as Bernie the corpse from ""Weekend at Bernie's"") who wants to profit off her abilities she can't fully control.
As we now know, Jason couldn't be stopped by any ""Carrie"" rip off, and was back again to fight Manhattan, hell, outer-space and Freddy Krueger in respective sequels. The world is still waiting for a ""Friday the 13th""/""Weekend at Bernie's"" crossover, which would hopefully have Jason thinking Bernie is still alive simply because Jonathon Silverman and Andrew McCarthy put him on water-skis.
'Jaws 3-D'
At least the title of this one doesn't pull any punches. This film was in fact in 3-D, and featured the all star cast of Dennis Quaid, Louis Gosset Jr., and Lea Thompson. ""Jaws 3-D"" dares to ask the tough questions, such as, ""What if there was another crappy sequel to Jaws? What if it were in 3-D?""
Dan Marfield's column runs each Monday. You can contact him at ddmarfield@wisc.edu.
