Recently, I was walking down State Street, when a man with a clipboard approached me. He asked me a question that has bombarded all of us for months.
\Excuse me, sir, are you registered to vote?""
""Yes,"" I answered.
""Good. Can I interest you in some literature about the Libertarian Party?""
After all those months of practice at avoiding them, I was trapped by an assaultive political plea.
""Sorry,"" I said. ""But I believe in huge government. I don't just want gun control and socialized health care. I want to be under 24-hour surveillance, which will be paid for by my ridiculously high taxes. Thanks, though.""
""You're welcome?""
The poor guy sighed and walked away. But he was just one of thousands of campaigners we must deal with every day. And now, as Election Day approaches, and we can finally hope for a reprieve from the endless sermons from college activists, we face a rough week ahead.
It's scary that Madison faces both Election Day and Halloween in the span of a few days, only a week after Homecoming. The next few days are destined for chaos, and with the outpouring of energy, emotion and destructive impulses these events command, we'll be lucky if Madison is still standing in a week.
But what's scarier is how the presidential race has become like Halloween and Homecoming in Madison. All three make people wear goofy accessories, shout in public and forget to respect others. And the victims in all of this are the majority-people who understand that, while democracy requires people to participate, it doesn't mean that every other facet of life must be shut down.
What makes it worse is the type of shouting being done. Why do political activists, like baseball commentators, always seem to be dumber than their audiences? Madison is an extraordinarily educated and intelligent town, yet our most politically vocal citizens act like children.
Republicans never seem to understand why Democrats disrespect them so much, and vice versa. But the reason's not all political. Some of the most visible Republicans in Madison are on Vilas bridge waving ""Honk For Bush, Save America"" signs. And for Democrats, it's idiots like the guy who went to the Farmer's Market last week with Kerry stickers affixed to his dog. Which side would you respect?
Next week, the presidential debate will be rendered academic for another three years or so. But we will have months of political wear and tear still weighing on us. Activists have worked hard to make us feel divided, when the fact that we're democrats and republicans should be far more meaningful than whether we're Democrats or Republicans.
My family once visited a petting zoo where the rabbits had a way to escape children's aggressive hands. It was a quiet and enclosed place called the rabbit recovery room. On Tuesday, after being run through the Halloween grinder and finally having our official political say, I think we'll all need a similar escape.
So I'm creating a human recovery room. It's open to anyone of any political leaning. We'll eat cookies and watch happy movies, like ""The Princess Bride"" and ""Sabrina."" No signs, no political bickering; just camaraderie and a break from the empty campaign noise.
Halloween will pass, riots or not, and Election Day will pass, whether the country elects Kerry or Bush... or Libertarian candidate Michael Badnarik. Either way, America needs a hug right now. Taking a break from political insanity is our patriotic duty.
Just leave your signs and partisan canines behind.
amosap@hotmail.com.
