It has been a long year.
Since 2003, we've been stuck in constant attack mode. First, the Democratic candidates attacked each other's credibility in the primary, then banded together (sans credibility) to attack the president. The president, in turn, took a break from attacking Iraq to attack Democrats and Ralph Nader while quietly funding Nader's attack against John Kerry.
Families, dorms and offices were split over the election. The focus was shifted to swing states. Condiments were boycotted.
And now, it's time to come down from this bad trip. Rent a movie, listen to a song. Try to forget how much you hate that family, dorm, office and brand of ketchup.
Here is The Daily Cardinal's gameplan for antebellum reconstruction.
America is in a time of reconciliation. After one of the most divisive elections in our history and after one of the most partisan campaigns in memory, it's time for the United States to set our differences aside. And one movie shows a vision of America setting aside the pettiness and coming together.
As zombies.
That's why it is so important to rent \Dawn of the Dead"" today. It's a movie that reminds us of the nation our Founding Fathers imagined, a country united.
George Bush became one of the first president elected with an approval rating below 50 percent, and a lot of people are rightly confused. But not as confused as they could be, trying to decipher the upcoming book of poetry by Jeff Tweedy. The Wilco front man is notoriously bad at acting poetic.
So if you think you're confused as to how more than half a nation voted for a man whose work product they did not approve of, listen to some Wilco and find out the true depths of confusion:
""I am an American aquarium drinker.""
What?
Many Democrats feel like they wasted a lot of time campaigning to still see losses in both the presidential race and in Congress. But it's only as sad as they were watching Bon Jovi waste their time touring to support John Kerry after failing to reproduce any original song since ""Living on a Prayer"" in the '80s. They tried to reclaim their fame, but couldn't find their fans just like the Democrats couldn't find their supporters. Democrats wasted time campaigning, but so did Bon Jovi. Only they wasted 10 years of mullets leading up to that waste of time for Kerry. Listen to Bon Jovi and know that six months of idealism is better than a decade of songs like ""It's My Life.""
It was a funny election season. Both sides of the Bush-Kerry debate were so dogmatic that a lot of people landed up apathetic. A lot of people figured ""Whoever wins, we lose."" Which is why everyone should rent ""Alien Versus Predator,"" the movie which used that catchphrase as a tagline. No matter who won, it wasn't as bad as that.
For Republicans, having maintained control of Congress, it would be tempting to go around blasting ""We are the Champions"" or ""Celebration."" But with Dick Cheney unlikely to run, there is no guaranteed presidential nominee after this administration.
It's sort of like Tom Hanks alone on an island in ""Cast Away,"" waiting for the end of his time, learning to accept an uncertain future.
This is a crazy time, and Americans need to find their own ways to reconcile this contentious time we have just passed like a kidney stone. For some, like the Democrats, that way will be zombies. For some, Like Dick Cheney, that way will be an unshaven Tom Hanks talking to a volleyball. But no matter which way you cope with this, it's clear that the answer will not be found on CNN or Fox News, but in bookstores and videostores and wherever misguided poetry, aliens and Predators can be found.
-Beth Wick, Joe Uchill and Amos Posner
