Tammy Baldwin is no leader. We can see that in the way she caters mostly to her core demographic. We can see that in the way she votes a straight Democratic party line in Congress. And we can see it in the way she picks her choice of greatest rock 'n' roll album of all time.
In an interview with The Daily Cardinal, Representetive Baldwin was asked to choose the greatest rock 'n' roll album of all time. She had been asked the same question two years earlier, as well. As she noted, her answer had changed. This time, she chose Van Morrison's Moondance. Why the change? What's the matter, Tammy, did the Democrats change their position on greatest album of all time?
But even if the change is organic to Baldwin-and Lord knows the Baldwin camp loves everything organic-it sure is nice to see a politician moving from one safe choice to another, isn't it? That's all we want from our politicians. Or is it? Not in my country, hippie.
Last time I checked, this here was still the United States of America. And in this crazy, post-Sept. 11th world of ours, we need something that will challenge us. Something that will reaffirm our national spirit. Something that will make us feel proud to be Americans. That's why Dave Magnum had the courage to choose an album from Journey, or the Eagles, or possibly Asia. Because nothing is more American than an album from Journey, or the Eagles, or possibly Asia (the band).
But Van Morrison? A mumbling Irishman to represent the good people of this district? What exactly is he hiding? Like Baldwin, Morrison's message is unclear. Maybe if she took a strong stance, or if Morrison didn't sing like he had a mouthful of granola, the message would be clearer. Can you really discern what the lyrics to \Domino"" are? How do you know he hasn't been plotting a terrorist attack against us-and singing about it for three decades? Tammy Baldwin opposes the Patriot Act, but this is too far, when she can't even spy on the lyrics of her favorite album.
Baldwin goes with the flow on an album that all you college kids love. Well, how about reminding you of your roots? Most of you come from the early 1980s. So does Journey. Instead, Baldwin harkens back to an era from before any of you were born; an era you can romanticize without ever having been there. Well, it seems that Tammy's musical tastes are a lot like her fundraising. She claims to represent you, the young people of Wisconsin, but instead, she goes off and finds her money and music elsewhere, like Hollywood and the '60s and Ireland.
Tammy Baldwin has always been a politician. And as a multi-term Congressional representative, she's spent a little too much time in Washington, DC., and not enough time in the great state of Wisconsin. Dave Magnum's living it up in Wisconsin. Such a lovely place. Such a lovely place. And Dave Magnum can check out of Wisconsin any time he likes, but he can never leave.
Vote Eagles. Vote Journey. Vote Asia. Vote America. Vote Magnum.
Since our Founding Fathers, the best politicians have taken radical, progressive stances to affect change, but come this evening that may end without your vote. Dave Magnum is a centrist of the worst kind. He tries so hard to pander to anyone and everyone that his stances become a weird, pseudo-populist mish-mash of all kinds of visions that don't belong together. After much waffling, Magnum selected The Eagles' Their Greatest Hits (1971-1975) as his platform on the greatest rock 'n' roll album of all time.
Come on, Dave. A greatest hits album? That's just like you. Sure, ""Witchy Woman"" is a great song, but what does it have to do with ""Life in the Fast Lane""? It's like how Magnum criticizes Tammy Baldwin for breaking with her party on health care, but then takes pride in breaking with his own party on the issue. It just doesn't fit together in a cohesive LP of political vision.
Magnum didn't even choose the Eagles flat out. He takes pride in making appearances without any aides with him, but then he has to go home and confer with them before picking an album, and responding the next day. And this from a radio magnate. What kind of Republican are you? Do you think that Lincoln conferred with aides before signing the Emancipation Proclamation? Do you think Nixon conferred with Kissinger before bugging the Democratic Party? And most of all, Dave, do you think Don Henley conferred with the rest of the Eagles before starting his solo career?
Greatest hits? Are you just singing the songs we want to hear? You say that your children are your greatest priority and you say that you want to represent the people of Wisconsin, but what happens when the ""Dave-Magnum's-Kids-For-Supreme-Commanders-of-Wisconsin Act"" comes up for vote? What song are you going to sing then, Dave?
You can't be singing the song everyone wants to hear all the time. Sure, we all want to hear ""Hotel California"" last, or as an encore, or really as the only song in the concert. But what do you do with the other two hours. Are you going to go with ""Peaceful Easy Feeling?"" Are you going to go with ""Take it Easy""? I'll bet you start a bunch of songs, give up, and start some new ones.
Because Dave Magnum is a flip-flopper. He started out picking Journey and then, changed his mind to Asia before settling on the Eagles. Asia? Come on, they're the worst band named after a place. And there are some terrible bands named for places; Kansas, Boston, Linkin Park. He should have picked the best place-named band ever: America.
Remember a little band called America, Dave? A band called America that made ""Horse With No Name."" A band called America that fended off the British Invasion. A band called America that saved the world in World War II and went to the moon before anyone else.
It's time to stand up for our Founding Fathers and our progressive traditions. When you vote today don't forget: A vote for Tammy Baldwin is a vote against Asia.
