UW students are hard drinkers, but we're not really stylish drinkers. Ever see an old Cary Grant movie? The characters would hit the bar and throw back good Scotch and real martinis. No, not appletinis or chocolate martinis or melted-down Jolly Ranchers with a splash of UV. A lot of chilled gin or vodka, with just a touch of vermouth. They drank in style.
For many students, alcohol is an integral part of unwinding. But a startling number of them do it poorly, subjecting themselves to terribly tasting or injuriously sweet drinks for no good reason. College is a time when we should broaden our horizons and acquire more sophisticated tastes. And with a bit of fine-tuning to their alcohol regimens, students can easily come closer to that Grant sense of flair.
The key to good drinking is to drink alcohol because you enjoy alcohol, instead of drinking to get drunk. Often, if you do the former, you can do the latter more easily. People are trained to think of Jaegermeister as an impressive shot, but it contains less alcohol than bourbon, only as much as vodka and it tastes terrible.
And drinking well isn't all about straight alcohol. Gin and tonics are great. So is beer. Alcohol has many great and distinct flavors to offer, and it's at least worth trying them before masking them with juice and cola. And famous names or gaudy price tags aren't always attached to the best beverages. You can drink famously without drinking famous brands.
Whiskey
Coca-Cola in Madison often comes with a side of whiskey-something like bourbon or its cousin, Jack Daniel's. It's strange people do that, because bourbon has a sweet taste that doesn't need masking. Other whiskeys are tasty, too, like scotch, rye and Irish whiskey. They compose the boldest group of booze.
If you're not used to drinking straight spirits, whiskeys just taste like burning. But with a little patience, some ice or water, you can develop enough of a resistance to fight the fire and taste the liquor. Mixing bourbon with ice eases the pain, and while other whiskeys can't take ice, a splash of water can make the other guys smooth and bring out their flavors. Don't drink liquor like a beer or a shot. Sip it slowly and you'll be okay. And liquor, especially bourbon, has more alcohol than beer. Sipping will get you just as drunk.
Plus, few alcohols are as value-priced as American whiskeys like bourbon. For less than $20, you can get some of the best spirits in the world, like Wild Turkey or one of the little brands like Eagle River, which could charge more due to its better name recognition. Jack Daniel's is as tasty and affordable as it is famous. And even Maker's Mark, the top-notch bourbon that Harry Osborn drinks in \Spider-Man 2,"" is only $25 per liter.
Vodka
Vodka is the most misunderstood alcohol on college campuses. Everyone drinks it but no one seems to like it. People drink it by default with things like lemonade and cranberry juice to mask the flavor. This makes sense for vodkas like Fleischmann's because Fleischmann's is harsh to drink.
High-quality vodka isn't so cringe-worthy. It mixes well with things like tonic but has a subtle, mild and pleasant flavor of its own. But the most famous and expensive vodkas aren't the most worthwhile either. Ketel One is reputable and Absolut is famous for its ads, but both are bitter. Stoli is much smoother, can be found in any bar or liquor store and is much less expensive than grandiose brands like Grey Goose.
Gin
Gin is the lemonade of hard liquor. It has a bite to it, along with a refreshing herbal flavor. And while straight gin isn't a nightly kind of drink, there's nothing wrong with a gin and tonic. People underestimate the great and affordable variety of brands out there. Bombay is famous, expensive and too weak. Tanqueray is famous, expensive and pretty good. But try picking up a bottle of, say, Citadelle, which is smooth, incredibly crisp and noticeably less expensive than other brands.
Beer
Wisconsin is the beer capital of America, so why do people drink Bud and Corona at home? New Glarus and Tyranena make inexpensive and world-class beer. Other great domestics, like Samuel Adams and Sierra Nevada, are also reasonably priced. Or try a microbrew like Rogue which, despite its campy name, makes a slew of outstanding, locally available beers.
The key is to figure out what you like and triangulate from there. Porters are deep and pale ales are bitter. Try all you can-even fruit-flavored beers, like Lindemann's Framboise. This is not to say you should get Belgian dessert beer for your next kegger. But why celebrate a $2 Pabst Blue Ribbon drink special when you can get a six-pack of Anchor Steam or Grolsch for much less than that?
Wine
Learning wine is daunting, and almost everyone who does becomes pretentious. Don't listen to them. The only way to learn wine is to drink it. A lot. Do some reading, do some sampling, and have a good time. No need to break the bank. Just put down that godforsaken box. Some of the best wines available are under $20. Lots of publications can recommend good cheap wines. Get your girlfriend hammered inexpensively and broaden your horizons at the same time. And we promise it won't make you take on a fake accent, wear a patched-elbow jacket and say ""vino.""
