Iknow this is going to catch a lot of you off guard, but I have asked The Daily Cardinal for a month off. Everything has really caught up with me. Between writing and editing at the Cardinal, school and creating and promoting my new rap album, I just need some time off.
This may sound selfish, but I'm doing it for my own good. I have to focus on getting healthy and seeing those who truly mean the most to me. I remain dedicated to bringing my fans the best columns possible, but I won't be able to do this without a month off.
But make sure you buy my rap album. I worked hard on it over the summer and I made sure that it was clean, so that fans of all ages could enjoy it.
Like I was saying, I just need some time off so that I can get my grades in line. Working has taken up so much of my time that I'm not ready for finals and I need to get that done.
Oh yeah, please buy my rap album when it comes out. It's due out in a month, so my agent tells me that I need this time off to just seal the deal and make sure everybody knows about it. If you think I'm selfish, you're wrong-you don't know how hard it is to try and balance all of this at the same time.
I don't get to see my family and friends enough. They need me to be home, and between working and promoting my rap album they just don't get to see me. I figure something has to give, and it's going to have to be my work at the Cardinal.
Don't forget to buy my rap album, and that other one that I produced and am now promoting for these three random broads that I know.
I could probably ramble on, but I think you get how absurd this sounds. But it doesn't sound nearly as absurd as when Ron Artest did the same thing a month ago, just one of the many low points in sports this semester.
The biggest disappointment has been that one of the \Big Four"" sports doesn't even exist right now. The NHL has been locked out for its entire season and hadn't even been discussing a return until they decided last week that they will meet again. I'm sure not many people care around here because we have the Badger skaters to watch, but the fact that it is now the ""Big Three"" is pretty disappointing.
Buy my rap album.
Then there is the BCS. Yesterday the BCS once again turned into a Broken Championship System. Three undefeated teams mean that Auburn, which I feel could beat both Oklahoma and USC, won't even get a chance to win a national championship.
That is just the beginning-with Utah stealing a BCS berth, either Texas or Cal were going to be snubbed by the system. It was Cal, and now instead of a Big Ten/Pac-10 Rose Bowl, we'll be watching Michigan hook the Horns on New Year's Day. Oh... and Pittsburgh is in a BCS bowl. Travesty.
My rap album would be a great gift for your little brother or sister.
Of course there was the NBA brawl. I promise that, although I am asking for a month off, I will not be fighting any of my loyal readers. The fight between players and fans in Detroit was possibly the worst spectacle in NBA history.
Rap album.
Then last week Major League Baseball took its worst hit since the strike of '94 when the BALCO scandal took center stage. Whether the players knew they were taking steroids or not, the record books are now tainted and the league will need to look seriously at its testing policy before the start of next season.
But let's not dwell too long on the negatives. Players will keep playing, fans will keep showing up and great, untainted moments are on the way (see Peyton Manning shattering Dan Marino's touchdown record).
Plus, not all is bad; my rap album comes out soon and you can get yourself a copy.
Thanks for supporting me and my decision, pick up my album and I'll talk to all of you in about a month.
To find a copy of Schmoldt's album, check your local record store. Don't be surprised if they don't have a copy though, it's probably sold out. To order your copy, e-mail ejschmoldt@wisc.edu.
