In the first weeks back from winter break, it's unavoidable that somebody will ask you, \How was your break?""
If you were lucky enough to spend your break on a Caribbean cruise or sunbathing in Tuscany, you probably responded to that question with a big fat resounding, ""It was great!""
But if you're like me and you spent your time off lying on the couch, watching Napoleon Dynamite 16 times and cooking omelets, you probably answered with a less enthusiastic response-for instance, ""Well, I didn't have any class."" And that is to say nothing of not having school.
Anyway, to say the least, my break was boring. Surprisingly enough, you can only wake up at 1:30 so many times before you start to question your purpose. For me, this emptiness was only magnified when I found out I hadn't been invited to the annual alumni basketball scrimmage at my high school.
Before I go any further, let me give everyone a brief rundown of my high school basketball career. I didn't play much. In fact, during my senior season, the managers and water boy had a better chance of going into a game than I did. The highlight of my career was scoring 100 points??-in warm-ups. So, I'm not exactly the most distinguished of alumni. That being said, I still would have liked an invite. Had I gotten the invite, would I have gone? Probably not, but that's not the point. (250 words into this column, and you're probably asking yourself, ""What is the point Joe?"" I promise, I'll get to that in a second.)
According to a source close to the team, the alumni scrimmage was poorly attended anyway and very few of the ""real"" alumni (as opposed to the fake plastic ones) were even there. I did some investigative journalism and discovered that fellow alumnus and current Badger Clayton Hanson was also unaware of the scrimmage.
So, this means that the event was held without the program's most distinguished/talented alumnus (Hanson) and without its smartest/best-looking (yours truly) even knowing about it. All of this makes me question the legitimacy of the whole thing. It really leaves a sour taste in my mouth, one that isn't likely to go away.
See, I've always thought it would pretty sweet to be one of those ""wealthy boosters"" you hear so much about. Following my humiliating exclusion from the alumni scrimmage, I may have to rethink the donation of new nets I had been planning to make.
My brother Sam, another alumni, couldn't understand why I was so upset. He told me I should just forget the whole matter. I rarely listen to Sam. Otherwise, I'd have fewer ideas for columns. Oh, and remember when I said I'd get to the point? Well, I forgot what it was. Forget it, it wasn't important anyway.
Joe is a sophomore planning to major in Journalism. He can be reached at jphasler@wisc.edu.
