Isn't it wonderful being back at school? It's great having new classes and waking up early again-especially this time of year when it's briskly cold outside. You get to slip on unsalted sidewalks, and your nose is constantly running. It's a blast! Don't let my sarcasm give you the wrong idea-I love winter. I just love winter when I don't have to attend class. Winter break gave me time to let go and go sledding. But alas-yes alas-I am back to school, and going outside is just a means to an end. It's kind of sad actually, and so now I come home and try to feel better by watching hours of television.
Last week, my roommates and I settled in for front row seats to watch \American Idol."" I don't know what drives people to try out, but it was mildly entertaining watching them. The show was OK, but the comedy really started during one of the many commercial breaks.
One ad was for a new shampoo that was supposed to do traditional shampoo things like give your hair body and shine. It had Wilma Flintstone ditching her tired and uptight bun for long, flowing red hair. She showed off her new hairstyle and proclaimed the shampoo to be spectacular. My roommate quipped, ""I'd do her.""
Not surprised, and kind of missing anthropology, I asked him, ""Would you do it in the Stone Age so she would be comfortable, or current times so you would be?""
Taking me seriously, he thought about it. ""Would her hair be the new haircut if we did it in the Stone Age?""
""Sure, why not?""
""I would have to go with the modern era still.""
This prompted one of my other roommates to put in her two cents. Always on the logical side she said, ""Plus if you were to do it right now, you could use birth control.""
All of us agreed that that was a good point. If you were going to fornicate with a character from the cartoon Stone Age and then get her knocked up, you could ruin the entire show.
Fred would wonder where Wilma was. That garbage disposal pelican would probably rat you out. Fred would go into a drunken rage at that bowling alley or the buffalo lodge. He might even lash out and hijack a brontosaurus to beat you up. You could turn Bedrock into a state of bedlam. We decided prophylactics and discretion are a must when being intimate with any ""Flintstones"" character.
Our conversation carried on into the possibility of making your own condom in the Stone Age out of rocks or even dinosaur skin. We probably would have figured it out, but horrible singers trying to make it big interrupted us. As they belted out ""America the Beautiful,"" our conversation died out and we never revived it.
Breaks give you a time to enjoy yourself, rejuvenate and reflect on the funny and simple things in life. You can be relaxed and have some classic moments that turn into memories. But whether it's a commercial break or winter break, after awhile and despite your best efforts, you are forced to return. So try to embrace the new semester-and the 53 days until spring break will fly by faster than a pterodactyl.
erincanty8285@hotmail.com.
