Imagine your basketball team has strong perimeter shooting (even your back-up center has hit four from behind the arc in a game), has a point guard whose brother plays for the Spurs, and lacks only a strong low post presence.
Now imagine that a 6'10\ center from Duke and McDonald's All-American is transferring to your school.
Let's fast forward a year to when your stud big man is finally eligible, and you're solid at 8-5. Suddenly, your team drops five of six, falling to 9-10 (2-5 in the Big Ten), and it's clear you could be playing better in the paint than Mike Thompson is.
And you're 5'8"". On a good day.
Frustrating, no? Such is the life of a Northwestern basketball fan, and things aren't getting better. Now we're visiting No. 19 Wisconsin, whose last home game was their first loss in Madison in over two years.
NU-UW games are always fun for me. My buddy Matt goes to Madison and lives in the Kohl Center. My sister Stephanie, who went there too, sat in Abe's lap on Bascom Hill in 2003.
I saw firsthand how Madison treats its visitors in October, when Steph and I came to watch NU play the Badgers at Camp Randall.
It wasn't pretty.
Then again, there really is nothing like having your sister call you an asshole because you're wearing purple, is there?
Although I should mention it was the first time you beat us this century.
While Wisconsin almost defeated No. 1 Illinois last week, the Wildcats lost to Penn State, who had four true freshmen on the court, and blew an eight-point lead to Ohio State who closed the game on a 22-1 run.
So why should Bucky worry about an opponent who's lost two of its last three to the slop-bucket of the Big Ten?
Well, between those losses was a win over No. 23 Iowa, and we were down 12 with three minutes left before walk-on/cult hero/God Michael Jenkins sank a trey at the OT buzzer.
Furthermore, Croatian junior sharp shooter Vedran Vukusic finally showed heart, scoring 32 points, with 13 in the last two minutes of regulation, and getting three steals in 43 minutes, all with a sore shoulder that almost kept him from playing.
Inconsistency is the name of the game for the Cats, who nearly beat then-No. 25 Virginia and downed perennial tourney contender Seton Hall in December, were within two points for most of the second half against Illinois and trounced Indiana by 21.
Sophomore guard Tim Doyle has an eye for passing lanes, junior guard T.J. Parker can penetrate the lane at will and junior guard Mohammed Hachad is a pest on defense.
Still, you never know which team will show or if Thompson will realize that he had the skill to sign with the best hoops program in the country. You probably won't expect much trouble from us tonight, but I'm sure the then-No. 14 Badgers didn't expect any when we upended Devin Harris and company a year ago.
Am I guaranteeing victory for NU, who has beaten at least one ranked opponent each of the last five years?
I'm not a betting man, but don't say I didn't warn you. These Cats are dangerous. Just ask the Hawkeyes.
-David ""Kato"" Kalan is a sophomore at Northwestern University. He is a sportswriter for the Daily Northwestern.
