Does anyone remember the \Lincoln Fry?"" It was a fry that looked like Abraham Lincoln and it was the feature of a McDonald's Super Bowl ad. That fake fry was just purchased in an online auction for more than $75,000. I think someone just learned what it feels like to be a sucker.
But hey, I should know. My roommate Amber and I were watching television in our apartment. A mini-infomercial came on for three special kitchen tools. They appeared useless-tools that looked similar to the ones I made for my fourth grade archaeology project. They had catchy names, like ""Grip 'n' Flip"" and ""Scoop 'n' Strain."" They were kitchen tools for the person on the go-or for the cooking-challenged. The commercial pictured frustrated people on the verge of tears in the kitchen. ""Do you have trouble flipping those greasy sausages, or what about buttery grilled cheese?"" Whatever will they do?
The tools came to the rescue helping the distraught chefs finish making their difficult side dishes, like bacon and fried eggs. Oh how their lives were made complete by flimsy, cheap, easy-melt plastic.
Days went by and I kind of forgot about the entire thing, as I tend to do. I lounged on the couch when she bounded into my room.
""Guess what? I got them!""
She thrust the tools in my face with a huge smile. I hate to admit it, but I felt genuinely excited and I could tell the feeling was mutual.
Our entire exchange made me consider how duped we all are.
I read a book a few semesters ago about coercion. It discussed how stores, malls and shopping centers will use the senses to trick you into buying things. What was supposedly a light and easy read turned into a horror story. It took all of the fun and excitement out of the mall. I was no longer enticed by revolving doors, ambience music or soothing lights. After a week and 300 pages, I had beaten the system.
But now I am nervous-things that were once repulsive now look appealing. I watched late-night television last night and caught myself trying to dance to the songs off of ""Down Low."" Who knew early '90s R&B could be so addicting? And two cassettes for only $21? It's like they are giving this stuff away! What about that ""make your own chocolate bar set?"" On so many occasions, I have tried to make my own chocolate figurines. I could really use one of those mold kits-imagine the gifts I could make for family and friends.
All right, it's confirmed that the defenses are definitely in vulnerable mode. But maybe, this time, it's OK. These inventions really are helping people. They are keeping my cabinets organized, and they're helping me make pancakes and pasta. Some devices are even allowing me to slice through tin cans with ease. Why should I label them as useless junk before I have the opportunity to try them out in my own home? Maybe I can purchase something that slices, dices and makes julienne fries. Judging from the ""Lincoln Fry,"" that might be a solid investment.
Accepting infomercial products into my life may be my best move yet.
erincanty8285@hotmail.com.
