I have been a victim of the freshman 15 (well, actually the freshman 10). I know how it goes. Food lurks around every corner and one's main source of exercise comes from walking to the fridge to get more food, down the hall to eat some of your neighbor's food, or down to the cafeteria to indulge in even more food.
Well, things haven't changed much since I was a frosh. I mean, I lost the freshman 10 and I no longer smuggle food from the cafeteria to my dorm room. But it seems even outside of the dorms, putting on weight is inevitable in college.
I am now a junior and still can't figure out how people stay fit while in school. I began to think about all the obstacles that get in the way of my \ideal"" body and couldn't believe how ""fat-friendly"" college really is.
I came up with a comprehensive list of preventative measures one can take to keep some pounds off. Now, this list may not ensure great health and a perfect body, but for all of you who are as confused as I am about this fit-person phenomenon on campus, pay close attention. This may set you on the right track, or at least a semi-healthier one.
1. I know Gumby's pokey sticks and Casa Bianca's pizza are perfect for satisfying late-night cravings, but resist the temptation. Try eating an apple. And if that doesn't work, then order the greasy food and after eating it, jog in place for a minute. This will speed up your metabolism right before bed.
2. This campus is not work-out friendly. The cardio room at the SERF is always packed. The lines for machines are equivalent to lines for rides at Six Flags. So if you feel inspired to exercise, here is what you should do. Go to the SERF, pick a fight with the anorexic on the machine and throw her right off. Let her know it is too damn hard to stay skinny in college and you have a right to be fit too. This will get your adrenaline going...perfect for the beginning of a work-out.
3. Avoid offers from roommates to drive you to class in this cold weather. I know this is Wisconsin and winter is horrible, but suck it up, put on your boots and start trudging to class through the snow and slush. Your legs will receive an extra work-out. For a greater effect, bundle up with enough layers to induce a good sweat. That way, you can lose some water weight as well.
4. Stop writing papers and studying for exams. You heard me. Studying leads to extreme boredom and results in consuming a lot of food in an attempt to avoid doing work. So just stop working and start sleeping. At least then you won't be tempted to eat.
5. If you are out at the bars and people are talking about getting food afterward at Qdoba or Parthenon Gyros, drink as much and as fast as you can. This way your chances of vomiting are greater so when you eat that food, at least you will be able to rid your stomach of it. Or, maybe you will just pass out, making it impossible for you to eat.
6. Do not step foot on the 80. I know it is enticing to avoid Bascom Hill, to jump on the bus and be up the hill in less than a minute, but refrain from doing so. People who are taking the bus much further will appreciate it and so will your body. If you don't think you can handle this, just skip class. People going to Agriculture Hall will be forever grateful.
Well, that's all I've got. I figured a few dieting tips couldn't hurt. Or maybe they can. I never said I was good at this whole staying fit thing, so don't listen to me. Maybe you should ask Dr. Atkins how to cut out entire food groups and deplete your body of necessary nutrients. That may be a lot healthier. Or, just forget dieting altogether and embrace the food lover inside of you. You only live once.
Kat is a junior majoring in psychology. E-mail her at krpeterson@wisc.edu.
