Every year, people mock Valentine's Day as a meaningless day for corporations to sell greeting cards and flowers. But it seems odd for people to lament the existence of a day celebrating love. How can romance be the villain? Who could fail to see the beauty and joy of a blossoming young love?
Just ask someone who has to live with one.
\I just try to break them up and keep them broken up,"" UW senior Nick Kaufenberg said.
When love is regarded as towering above everything else, people with roommates or close friends in relationships often feel like screaming extras in a monster movie, simply trying not to get trampled under Cupid's foot. But this Valentine's Day, lovers can treat their friends better in four easy steps.
Step one: Don't let your private moments interrupt your roommates' privacy.
Every couple needs their special time, but that doesn't keep roommates from needing their sleep or TV time. And loud music can be just as obtrusive as loud sex.
""I've probably shared a wall with my roommate having sex with his girlfriend at least a hundred times,"" said Greg, a UW senior. ""And I never hear them making noise. But every single night, I hear 'Clocks' by Coldplay pumping through my wall.""
Step two: Don't turn your friends into relationship janitors.
What's worst for many roommates and third wheels is the service industry that springs up around relationships. Perhaps it is the nature of young couples, but every successful relationship seems to have a whole team of friends there to prop it up; unwitting volunteers serving as entertainers, confidants, counselors and anything else it takes to help a friend through good and bad times alike.
""When my roommate had a girlfriend last year,"" said Mike, a UW junior. ""I had to help him prepare for dates, help him through fights and hang out with her friends all the time ... It was like I was his love caddy.""
Step three: Don't ditch your friends just because you're in love.
Much roommate tension from relationships comes from people who suddenly forget their friends when they find a new playmate. This can be alleviated by remaining accessible and dating similarly cool people.
""I have four roommates, they all have boyfriends,"" UW senior Janie Bomba said. ""I used to mind that I was the only single one in a group of five girls, but now I'm very used to it. My roommates' boyfriends are all really fun to hang out with, and everyone includes me when they go out.""
Step four: Be prepared to be a third wheel yourself.
Your friends helped you make a relationship work. To be a real friend, you have to be prepared to do the same for them. You might even learn something from it.
""I was in a couple of long-term relationships, so it's interesting to see the other side,"" Bomba said. ""I think it will make me more sensitive to my own friends, if I get a new boyfriend.\
