In theory, a remake of \The Amityville Horror"" is a positive notion. The original 1979 film never made the same cultural or critical impact as other horror films of the time such as ""Halloween"" or ""The Shining."" In a world where Hollywood seems hell-bent on remaking every classic, the notion of redoing a film that was mediocre to begin with doesn't seem so bad. That is until one finds out that the film has been brought to fruition by the producers of ""The Texas Chainsaw Massacre"" remake, at which time a justifiable feeling of loathing emerges. Although ""The Amityville Horror"" does not fail as utterly as the ""Chainsaw"" remake, it doesn't do much better.
""The Amityville Horror"" tells the reportedly true story of Kathy and George Lutz, who move their family into a spacious Victorian house for a fraction of the price it should fetch. Upon settling, strange occurrences abound. Windows open on their own. Eerie figures can be seen briefly in reflection of mirrors. Daughter Chelsea (Chlo?? Moretz) adopts an imaginary friend named Jodie, who prompts her into macabre mischief. Kathy (Melissa George) is disturbed by this, though George (Ryan Reynolds) seems angered more than anything else, and becomes more disturbed the longer he lives in the house.
Being the concerned mother that she is, Kathy investigates the matter in the town library. She finds out that the previous family who lived in their home had been brutally murdered when the oldest son went insane and killed his kin with a shotgun. Even better, she finds out that their home is built on the remains of a Mission for Native Americans, though the man who ran it was more concerned with sadistic torture than conversion. Kathy then returns home to rescue her children, but by now the house has taken control of George, who seems intent on murdering his family in the same way that the previous residents were.
For a movie that's only 89 minutes, ""Amityville"" seems incredibly long, probably because nothing really happens until the last 10 to 15 minutes. Virtually all of the film's supposed thrills are the result of loud noises on the soundtrack or images popping up out of nowhere. Surprise can be a fun element in horror films, but not when it takes the place of suspense. ""The Amityville Horror"" is nothing more than a haunted house tale, except that the origins of the curse are explained too late in the film. Even when the truth behind the house is explained, it's done in a haphazard way.
One of the producers is Michael Bay, which in itself tells you a lot. The opening of the movie, in which the previous murders of the house are shown, is literally presented as a strobe light effect, with each shot lasting about half a second. Bay has produced this film for people with no attention span, and it shows.
Like most horror films being produced currently, ""The Amityville Horror"" is clich??d, over-stylized and forgettable. Any actors starring in it are inconsequential, as the script and direction are so sub-par that nothing can be done to salvage them. Rather than building tension, ""Amityville"" belts viewers over the head with random grotesqueness. Though there is some genuine craftsmanship in the special effects, they are essentially useless once the surprise wears off. ""The Amityville Horror"" is a film that is too predictable to be scary, too nonsensical to be engaging, and too much of a mess to be liked.
