The Mifflin Street Block Party is the best opportunity of the year to see Madison's brightest people doing incredibly stupid things. The fact that people break laws in broad daylight, in front of cops and with no masks on makes it all that much more fun than Halloween.
But in the spectator sport of stupidity, you want to make sure you're in the audience and not running for the end zone. And in order to do that, you must pace yourself-not the easiest thing to do. So with Madison's most debauched afternoon on the way, there are a few easy ways partiers can stay on their feet and out of the hospital.
It's most important to keep a handle on how much you drink. An easy way to do this is to bring your own twelve-pack of beer. It is not just a way of tallying your drinks-it keeps strangers from slipping things into your drinks and it is a great way to meet people once the keg is tapped.
It's equally important to monitor how you drink. If you want to make it through the day, drink like a marathon runner, not like a sprinter. On occasion this means taking Dixie cups of water from the fans. Dehydration causes hangovers, and drinking water helps you pace yourself.
Also, don't do more than one novelty drink per day. Taking multiple keg stands or beer bongs is like entering multiple pie-eating contests.
Meanwhile, stay aware of your surroundings. If you look up from a beer and don't see anyone you knew before the party, you're probably drunk. If you look up from a beer and see that you're inside the Mifflin Street Planned Parenthood, you are probably really drunk and should leave (they get pretty mad).
If all else fails, use the mayor as a guideline. Only drink until you can't spell \Cieslewicz"" anymore, then go home.
Remember, it's a party, not a war on sobriety.
