Summer movies mean remakes, sequels and re-imaginings. Here's the lowdown on some of the major releases hitting the multiplex this summer. Thankfully, Vin Diesel is nowhere to be seen.
'Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith' (May 19)
The sixth and final \Star Wars"" has a lot to live up to. Many fans disappointed by the other prequels see it as a chance for George Lucas to atone for his sins (see: Jar Jar). If previews are any indicator, it looks like great fun, even if it doesn't have a happy ending.
'Batman Begins' (June 15)
At long last, Batman's origins will be brought to fruition on screen by Christopher Nolan, who mercifully takes the franchise back from the reins of the inept Joel Schumacher. ""Batman"" has a strong cast (Christian Bale, Morgan Freeman, Liam Neeson), a dark look and a killer backstory, so hopefully everything falls into place. It will be impossible for it to be any worse than ""Batman and Robin,"" so there's nothing to lose at this point.
'Bewitched' (June 24)
""Bewitched"" finds an actor (Will Ferrell) trying to cast the lead role in his television remake of the hit '60s sitcom. Wackiness abounds when an actual witch (Nicole Kidman) is cast. It's bad enough there's a movie version of ""Bewitched,"" but the idea of a movie with a plot focused on the process of a remaking a TV show is even more repulsive. Both Ferrell and Kidman need be more stringent in selecting their projects.
'Herbie: Fully Loaded' (June 24)
Disney once again reaches into its vault for a remake. Lindsay Lohan stars as the owner of the mischievous VW Bug, which is being groomed to become a NASCAR competitor. Look for Lohan to be out-acted by the Volkswagen, and Michael Keaton trying to remember when he was an actual star.
'Land of the Dead' (June 24)
Now that the zombie film has proven its profitability once again, George A. Romero, who directed the original ""Night of the Living Dead"" and ""Dawn of the Dead,"" directs his fourth installment in the series. Zombies now rule the Earth, with only one remaining city controlled by the living. There probably won't be anything radically new here, but it should still be fun.
'War of the Worlds' (June 29)
Everything about this movie is huge, from the cast (Tom Cruise, Tim Robbins) to the price tag (an approved budget of $200 million). Steven Spielberg is one of the few directors who deserves the outrageous budgets bestowed upon summer blockbusters, as he consistently delivers the best popcorn movies ever made. Every trailer shown thus far has been great, leaving audiences drooling for more. ""War of the Worlds"" is the film to see this summer. Start counting the days.
'The Fantastic Four' (July 8)
""The Fantastic Four"" seems as if it may be a dud. Perhaps it's because director Tim Story doesn't seem very suitable to direct a comic book movie, as his biggest films to date have been ""Taxi"" and ""Barbershop."" Or maybe it's because the trailer looks similar to most comic book movies from the last five years. By pushing the film back from its original release date, 20th Century Fox hasn't distilled fears, though they swear it had nothing to do with the fact that ""War of the Worlds"" opened that same weekend. Right.
'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory' (July 15)
Judging from the visuals, Tim Burton has gone all-out in his reimagining of the classic book and film about Charlie's magical tour of Wonka's factory. But his ""Planet of the Apes"" remake also looked good at first. Johnny Depp will almost assuredly be a fitting Willy Wonka, even if he looks a lot like Malcolm McDowell ala ""A Clockwork Orange."" For ""Charlie"" to succeed, Burton needs to go way over the top, making it on par with the first ""Batman"" in terms of creepiness.
'The Island' (July 22)
Ewan McGregor stars as a man on the run after discovering he lives in a society created to contain its citizens for a sinister purpose. ""The Island"" could be entertaining, but it also looks as if it might be too serious for its own good. It all depends upon whether director Michael Bay can stay clear of the trite emotional ploys used in ""Pearl Harbor"" and ""Armageddon."" ""The Island"" is based on the movie ""Parts: The Clonus Horror,"" which was deservedly mocked on ""Mystery Science Theater 3000.""
'The Dukes of Hazzard' (August 5)
The television show held the status of being critic-proof, and the film will enjoy the same distinction. The question is, will it be fun? If it plays out in the same goofy manner as the original series, then it may be worth buying a ticket. But if the film adaptation of Luke and Bo Duke's plight against Boss Hogg tries to go with the hip, ironic trend of other TV adaptations, it will probably fall flat. Either way, it should be fun to see if there are any shots of Daisy Duke (Jessica Simpson) that actually contain her face.
'The Pink Panther' (August 5)
This movie will probably only appeal to those who aren't attached to the original Peter Sellers films. Steve Martin stars as the bumbling Inspector Clouseau and Kevin Kline costars as Inspector Dreyfus. Though it's another example of a remake that no one was really asking for, ""The Pink Panther"" looks amusing enough. Let's hope Steve Martin has actually starred in something funny for a change. Lord knows it's been a while.
This is Dan Marfield's final column. If you're curious as to what communication arts majors do after graduating, e-mail him at ddmarfield@wisc.edu.
