For as long as I can remember, I have possessed a skill that allowed me to break the ice with strangers and welcome them into our group of friends. Now I don't mean complete strangers like the guy standing on Library Mall insisting that all of us students are going to hell for drinking and having sex, but new acquaintances of current friends that are strangers to the rest of our group.
My roommate Tyler and I have often discussed the difficulty of breaking down the barriers between study friends, work friends and real life friends. It's a feat that most people never attempt due to the complexity and discouraging effects of previous poorly executed friendship conjoining.
With most people, the Rathskeller on a Thursday night during Open Mic Night is the perfect setting to assist in breaking down these social hindrances. I have successfully assimilated numerous people into our current social network; however, last semester I suffered my first defeat.
Tyler had spent the better part of a semester getting to know Kelsey B. Rude, a girl from his work. Finally, one day he thought he would invite her to Open Mic Night so that he could spend time with her outside of the workplace. Kelsey B. Rude, however, was unlike any stranger I've come across.
The typical funny stories about my enlarged testicle, Josh crossing over the Highway 39 median in a snowstorm and almost killing a man and Tyler jumping off the couch and rushing to the bathroom causing him to pass out and pee on himself were not entertaining to this girl whatsoever.
As it turns out, Kelsey B. Rude was something I have feared for many years; my social kryptonite. Like all great superheroes, I too have an archnemesis. I always felt deep down that I wasn't socially invincible, but my perfect track record spoke for itself. On that night, however, something inside me died, and that was my sense of pride.
This Lake Michigan coastie took it upon herself to take me down a notch. The real Atlantic Ocean coasties need not fear, however, because Kelsey B. Rude only wears her Ugg boots in her head and doesn't really care for those gaudy '70s throwback glasses. Like the fight between Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker, my gloves came off when she began to taint my reputation as a social Ponce De Leon.
Tyler was caught in the middle of our quarrel and would hear me complain that she had no sense of humor at night and hear her call my stories childish and pointless during the day. Like Jason Alexander stating that relationship George will kill independent George, Tyler felt divided amongst himself.
Worried that my social rebel alliance roommate was getting more than he bargained for, I admitted defeat and laid down my lightsaber. Turns out that just like Darth Vader in Return of The Jedi,\ Kelsey B. Rude has a sweet side to her personality if you give her a chance.
While we all come face to face with our archnemesis sometime in our lives, remember my success story of learning to live with my social kryptonite. Getting along is not always easy, but in the end you are always a better person for it.
It's been a wonderful experience writing this column and I hope I have entertained you all. E-mail Jon at jwsteffen@wisc.edu for feedback.
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