At the end of this school year, I will be leaving my column and The Daily Cardinal newspaper. In my two years here, I have only written for the Almanac page and have always wondered if I could have cut it as a writer for a different desk. Because I will never get the chance to find out, I thought I would test out my writing versatility on you, the reader, and let you decide.
Plus, you can get all of your news in the next 500 words, rather than reading the whole paper. However, I couldn't fit a Sudoku in here, or photos, so I suppose perusing the rest of this issue may not be a bad idea.
City News: Madison celebrated 150 years over the weekend and the celebration highlighted the city's diversity with cultural dances and exhibits. Now that everyone had a feel good moment about that one, let's get real. Madison is about as diverse as a banana. There are a few brown spots, but by no means is it ripe. Madison's communities of people of color are great, and the populations are definitely growing, but I wouldn't go around advertising our United Nations status just yet.
Campus News: ASM decided to use paper ballots to run the candidate elections this week because the online voting proved to be too difficult. And of course everyone knows it is impossible to forge a paper ballot. Way to go ASM, I'm sorry I'll never be able to trust you again. But not so fast, rogue student—or should I say Student Government\—groups, I didn't ask for a revolution just yet. Put your Che Guevara shirts back in your closet for now.
Food: This just in: The fruit stand is back up in Library Mall, commence gorging on grapes.
Arts: My mother never goes to the movie theatre. It is like a personal vendetta against over-priced tickets and greasy popcorn. However, every once in awhile a movie will draw her out of the house. No, it wasn't one of the critically acclaimed movies of the past six months like ""Crash,"" ""Capote"" or ""Brokeback Mountain:"" my mother is instead ready to plop down $9 for ""Ice Age 2."" I hope this isn't genetic.
Opinion: I love Sen. Herb Kohl's new commercials. He is so ""I'm an old man"" adorable. I could feed him pureed peaches with a spoon. He's just that cute.
Science: NASA has plans to overhaul the space program and build a ""crew exploration vehicle"" that can get to the moon. Astronauts will stay there for three years and be forced to live off the land for oxygen and grow vegetables in lunar greenhouses. I'd like to take NASA's cut of the budget back. Let's work on getting food to everyone on this planet first before we start harvesting
celestial resources.
Sports: After winning the Masters this weekend, Phil Mickelson ran over to embrace his family. I couldn't help but think, ""How many children does this guy have?"" Blond toddlers were clinging to him like he was a firefighter evacuating a Swedish pre-school. His wife was also there, and she seemed kind of tired. I guess watching over a half-million children during an all-day golf event can have that effect on someone.
Well that's the paper in a nutshell. I hope you do catch the rest of today's issue, but trust that I have caught you up on all you need to know. How will you keep up on the important issues when I'm gone?
Tell Erin which section to write for, or if she should go to another paper all together! E-mail her at erincanty8285@hotmail.com.
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