Alright, I've got to level with the guys for a second. Ladies, just close your eyes for the next 525 words. Yeah, that's… just close ‘em.
OK, so how many men does it take to open a beer? None, it should be open when she brings it to you.
AH HA! Got you, yeah you, the girl still reading. My cunning ruse worked like a charm. Come on, just sit tight, eyes shut, as requested.
Good. All right, guys listen up.
Recently I was sitting in class, half paying attention to the professor, trying to keep myself awake with a mix of people-watching and Sudoku. Paying more attention to the females than males, I began to realize something—my view of them had an ascending direction. That is, I was looking up to them, being impressed.
Not that there's anything wrong with that, but it was the consistency of it. The guys are hit or miss, some are smart and others, well, not so much, and most are quite lazy. The ladies on the other hand appear to be consistently on the ball and better than some general standard of, oh, I don't know, let's say, me. Simply put, I know more girls that have me beat in various subjects and areas than guys.
But Eric, girls are the majority on this campus, this just follows that trend.\ Oh come on and sack up there buddy, I'm in engineering. It's so male-dominated, I'm not sure we could form an intramural kick-ball team. Besides, even if guys are out numbered, everyone loves an underdog.
I also don't think it's a matter of simple smarts, in my opinion it's a peculiar combination of a person's level of dedication. Women could just flirt their way into an easy ride at the expense of some guy, more so than a guy could do the reverse.
But increasingly they seem to be determined to pursue their dreams and be able to support themselves. They want it more. It's almost like they have some respectful feeling directed inward on themselves. Whatever the reason, this ""not willing to be just a pretty face"" could be a key factor to their recent dominance.
There is some hope that us guys won't be rounded up into ""Y camps"" to be used to entertain and to procreate (and of course sometimes both) at the discretion of our ""overladies"" anytime soon. As a female friend of mine said at a mustache party as I expounded to her my theories, ""Why does it have to be a competition?"" Of course it may have been pity in her words at the time since I was wearing mutton chops drawn on by brown eyeliner, but this could also belie the key to our survival.
Women lack the blind competitiveness that leads to male-dominated areas such as violence, anything on ""Jackass"" or world domination. They are, after all, the fairer sex. Perhaps this adjective ""fair"" not only describes their attractiveness, but also their inherent nature as well.
Alright, so I just wanted to get that out there, for all you guys to think about. This isn't directed at all guys, some of us are doing a good job, but the 525 words is up right about… now.
So guys, that's why you should give your girlfriend a massage whenever she asks, because she's worth it. Oooooh, ladies, you're back. Um, we were just talking about how wonderful you females are and how lucky we are to have you around. We're just huge fans of yours and realize we need to treat you as you deserve. Cuz none of us is better than the other… um… right… please?
It's Eric's birthday tomorrow. Send him an e-present in the form of an e-mail to ejjensen3@wisc.edu.
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