What do the following Madison bars have in common: The Klinic, Stillwaters, The Annex? Give up? They have all been the location of a shooting, and it's not even a complete list for the general downtown Madison area. And while it's no inner-city Chicago, it is still kinda creepy.
But what really bugs me is that this is just another indicator of the laziness of society. People are just slacking off and not taking matters into their own hands. I mean, shooting? Come on, I hope the loud noise didn't hurt your poor wittle eary-wearies. Now stabbing—there's a way to get things done.
Stabbing is definitely far worse than shooting, yet so much more respectable. Shooting is so blasé, so passé, so impersonal and weak. Anyone can pull a trigger. Just the other day I mowed down an army of zombies and successfully saved a kidnapped victim from terrorists by pulling a trigger, repeatedly.
I've been shooting things since I was a little kid; taking down ducks, one and even two at a time, or the more difficult but less entertaining clay discs. At times I was pretty cold-blooded too. Without a care, I mowed down any and all ducks. It didn't matter if they were blue or black or even those skittish brown ones. Screw that, I've even tried to take out the dog. Damn cocky giggling bastard, I'll bust a cap in yo' pixilated ass.
I suppose if shootings were similar to my Duck Hunt days I couldn't complain about it not being personal since they would have to be holding the tip of their gun two inches from their target. But these days, it's all about taking a random shot or two and running or doing a drive-by, which, unless the victim is in a drive-up window, both are definitely not face to face.
Stabbing on the other hand, that's not so easy, no point and click interface. In order to stab someone you need to feel enough anger to cause you to actually walk up to them and then press a sharpened piece of metal into them. And people are full of bones and muscle and feelings and stuff, which will only make the task more difficult. You've gotta commit to the task, there's no easy way out.
Now some wiseass out there might say something like, But Eric, you can throw knives, then it's just the same as shooting someone.\ Shut up. That's just wrong. No one's gonna go all ""V for Vendetta"" on anyone else. You have just as good a chance cutting your own hand as harming anyone else if you throw a knife. And besides, the last time I heard of anyone being injured by throwing knives either involved a quest for the One Ring or the rolling of a die 20.
Though maybe people are just cowards, that's possible. If you try to get your point across with a gun, it's pretty loud, to the point and people just have to deal with it without you having to deal with them. Stabbing on the other hand, the other person has the chance to make a counterpoint… which could possibly be your own point turned on you. This creates confrontation, and if someone lacks the balls, they may not be willing to sack up and stab someone.
Of course, I should probably mention that I, in no way, condone the malicious act of cutting or puncturing another person. I'm a lover, not a fighter, and thus I advocate that violence is never the answer. But really, with many things we do, it might be good to reconsider our actions, because we might be taking the easy way out. And you shouldn't really do something if you're not willing to work for it.
And that is my point.
Please don't shoot or stab Eric for that last line. E-mail ejjensen3@wisc.edu and tell him, among anything else, that there's no excuse for being punny.
\
