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The Daily Cardinal Est. 1892
Monday, December 23, 2024

What the Friday?

The Hammer resigns, denies collusion with other Capitol Hill tools 

 

Former House Majority Leader Tom The Hammer\ DeLay announced his plans to resign as representative for the 22nd District of Texas on April 2. DeLay cited ""a love for his district,"" the Republican Party and the cost of re-election as his reasons for resignation.  

 

Some experts speculate that the Hammer nailed his own political coffin via his connections to convicted lobbyist Jack Abramoff, campaign-bribery allegations, money-laundering charges and a reported redistricting scheme, though DeLay dismissed these possibilities.Government offers greenbacks, not green cards 

 

Months after Hurricane Katrina swept the Gulf Coast, illegal immigrants are stepping up recovery efforts. Due to the lack of U.S. citizens available to rebuild damaged areas, possibly 20,000 ""illegals"" have entered the region. These undocumented workers earn up to $16/hour at construction projects created by FEMA and its subcontractors. So, while Congress debates stringent new immigration policies, the subjects of the government's bane are more or less government employees. Arctic national pork-barreling refuge 

 

If you feel the government is not doing enough for you, consider moving to Alaska. A recent publication titled ""2006 Congressional Pig Book,"" released by Citizens Against Government Waste, shows the northernmost state has the highest spending per capita at around $490 per person. Oddly enough, this is less than half what the value was a year ago when Rep. Ted Stevens, R-Ala., chaired the Senate Appropriations Committee.Will the twice-divorced Shady please stand up? 

 

Maybe Eminem lost himself in the music, the moment, the pontiff or trying to never let ex-wife Kim Mathers go. But three months after re-exchanging vows with his ex-wife, Marshall Bruce Mathers III failed at his second shot at marriage. Employees of Macomb County clerk's office confirmed that Eminem filed for divorce April 5. So in case you live by the sacred tenets of ""Lose Yourself,"" Eminem proved that this opportunity (divorce) does not come once in a lifetime, yo!  

 

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