It's estimated that Americans see tens of thousands of simulated deaths by the time they turn 18. Watching Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor's ""Crank,"" it's not difficult to imagine why. Playing like ""Speed"" for the ""Grand Theft Auto"" crowd, ""Crank,"" the self-proclaimed ""ultimate ADD movie,"" is a popcorn flick for those who like their action with a side of arterial spray, a nihilistic exercise in which the story goes nowhere and does it fast.
Waking to the worst migraine of his life and left with a homemade DVD made by rival thug, Ricky Verona, professional hit man Chev Chelios (Jason Statham) is informed that he's been injected with a ""Beijing Cocktail,"" a poison that will kill him within the hour. Advised by his doctor that keeping his adrenaline up is the only way to buy himself time, Chelios sets out onto the streets of Los Angeles, chugging energy drinks, injecting himself with drugs, and fighting and fornicating his way to revenge.
Having set up the high-concept premise within the first minute, the remainder of the film's runtime is spent exploring unique ways to beat the hell out of Chelios, dragging him through a series of encounters that make most S&M films look like Disney fare.
As the film progresses from one stunt to another, it's not difficult to see why Statham is quickly becoming one of the most successful action stars of his generation. He damn near bleeds charisma as he drives a car through a busy shopping mall, defibrillates himself, sticks his hand in a waffle iron, runs through downtown L.A. sporting a hospital gown and an erection, snorts coke off a barroom floor, shoots a parakeet and has sex with his girlfriend (an ever-radiant Amy Smart) in the middle of Chinatown—all this in the film's first two acts. By the time the viewer finds Chelios at a climactic rooftop shootout, during which models in bikinis lounge in giant hamster balls, one begins to wonder if the filmmakers exercised any restraint at all.
Visually, this rollercoaster of a film is compelling and nauseating in equal measure, drawing aesthetic comparisons to Tony Scott's ""Domino"" with its MTV editing, artificial color schemes, multiple split screens and kinetic handheld camerawork. Watching it, it's not surprising to discover that first-time directors Neveldine and Taylor wet their feet in commercials. In fact, with all the product placement (Rockstar energy drink and Google Earth, among others), one could justifiably label the film as the first feature length commercial. At times, it's enough to make one wish it was released with the following disclaimer: Attention span must be this short to ride.
Considering the film, a string of adjectives come to mind, not the least of which include: sexist, racist, homophobic, sadistic and misogynistic. Were one to address such concerns to the filmmakers, however, they'd probably take it as a compliment. Hamlet this is not. Nor, for that matter, is it the best action flick of the summer (a title held by ""Snakes on a Plane,"" which stands in a class of its own). Nevertheless, for anyone who appreciates a little absurdity and knows that revenge is a dish best served cold, ""Crank"" is the snow cone of the late summer season.
Just don't check the nutritional facts.
