You find yourself walking alone late at night. A man walks up to you and asks for a match. You look him straight in the eye and tell him, ""Sorry, I don't have one."" He then asks you for directions to the nearest gas station where he could find some. You tell him the directions. He then advances towards you, tells you he doesn't believe you and that you are lying. You freeze.
What happens next? Numerous self-defense classes across the country deal with this situation during training. With the recent sexual assaults and attacks near campus, it is important that students take time to think about their own safety and know how to handle a situation like the one outlined above.
Mark Nessel, a self-defense specialist who works with the self-defense program Impact Chicago, said learning to defend oneself is a life skill. ""Just like if you own a car, you should probably know how to fill it up with gas and check your tire pressure. It's your body, you probably ought to know how to defend it.""
Nessel's program offers experience-based self-defense and educational programs directed primarily towards women in Chicago. and the Great Lakes region.
Although the program is directed toward providing an opportunity to learn and practice prevention, assessment, verbal boundary setting and physical defense skills for women, Nessel said the program is working on fine-tuning its class for males.
The men's class emphasizes underlying social attitudes toward fighting—when to fight and when not to fight. Nessel made the distinction that when women are attacked, it is predatory violence. They are usually assaulted from behind and the predator is trying to attack them. For men, it is usually territorial violence or fighting over something, usually face-to-face.
The Rape Crisis Center, 128 E. Olin Ave., also offers a special program that works with boys and men on the underlying attitudes that lead people to commit sexual assault.
""The reality when you're dealing with sexual violence is that it's a crime that's committed mostly by men, and mostly against women. And that doesn't mean men aren't victims too, or that all men are perpetrators ... Part of addressing that is addressing those underlying attitudes toward sex that lead men to commit an act like this,"" said Kelly Anderson, executive director of the Rape Crisis Center.
The Rape Crisis Center offers Chimera martial arts self-defense classes on campus that teach psychological and verbal assertiveness skills as well as physical skills to reduce the risk of harassment and assault to students.
One common technique that both the Chimera self-defense program and Impact Chicago practice is what is called ""boundary testing."" This is where a potential predator tries to get a sense of how easy a victim a person could be. The person may stand too close to a woman at a bus stop and see if she responds verbally, physically or not at all.
""For women in particular, especially because we're socialized to be nice, and not to hurt anybody's feelings, it can be very easy to transgress against our boundaries. The person may test several women over the course of an hour, and then choose one to follow home from the bus stop,"" Anderson said.
Nessel also made the point that most of the time a predator is not looking for a fight. Of the people who graduated from his program that actually had to use self-defense, an overwhelming number only had to hit the assailant once before the predator went away.
Both Nessel and Anderson also agreed on another important point: An assault is never the victim's fault. People can do anything and everything to try and reduce their risk, but they cannot control the result.
""Ultimately, the predator makes the choice. You can't control the person's behavior. It's their fault that they assaulted you,"" Nessel said.
Vicka Vanderspek, a UW-Madison junior, practices Choi Kwang-Do, a martial art based on self-defense.
""It is developed based on scientific research and is designed to maximize output, so you can be most effective using the tools that you have ... to have a practical punch, without damaging your own body,"" Vanderspek said.
Aside from actual physical contact, Vanderspek said self-defense can be as basic as looking around the corner before you turn or crossing the street if someone makes you uncomfortable.
Vanderspek agreed with Nessel and Anderson, ""The best self-defense is not having to hit anyone. It's pre-emptive, it's keeping yourself safe first.""
Things to do to protect yourself against predatory violence:
- Take a real self-defense class.
- If someone makes a comment or asks you a question, take it at face value. Answer the question and assume the person only wants the information they are requesting.
- Use a verbal cue when people are too close. Tell them to move. Set a clear message that is short and simple. Never explain or justify your statement. The two words to remember are: ""no"" and ""now.""
- Do not be afraid to raise your voice and cause a scene.
- Trust your gut instinct. If you feel a situation is threatening, it probably is.
- Be aware of your body language. Always make eye contact. If making a physical boundary is needed, put your hand out in front of you, but do not make a fist.
- Do not carry mace, stun guns or pepper spray. These are hard to use, and complicated instructions are hard to follow when you are having an adrenaline rush.
- Use physical violence when necessary, as predators are not looking for a fight.
- Remember that everyone is capable of self-defense, no matter your height, weight or gender.
—Provided by Mark Nessel
For more information contact:
- University Health Services: www.uhs.wisc.edu
- The Rape Crisis Center, and chimera self-defense: www.danecountyrcc.org/chimera
Classes this month: Oct. 6 and 14
- The Rape Crisis Center crisis line and services: 608-251-7273
- Impact Chicago: www.impactchicago.org
- Choi Kwang-Do: www.choikwangdo.com
Recommended Reading:
- ""Stopping Rape"" by Pauline Bart
- ""The Gift of Fear"" by Gavin deBecker
- ""Beauty Bites Beast"" by Ellen Snortland
- ""Real Knockouts"" by Martha McCaughe
