Like most people, I've certainly got my favorite holidays throughout the year. There are the classic Christmas and Halloween standards that probably appear on everyone's list.
For local flair I typically add the Mifflin Street Block Party, or as I call it, ""Drunks' Christmas.""
These are days that periodically brighten our otherwise mundane daily lives. But I'm here to tell everyone that there is a day that eclipses all three of these wonderful holidays—combined!
How is this possible, you ask? Well, it's very simple: I made it up.
Actually, I can't quite take all the credit. This holiday has been going on for years, but I'm fairly certain no one has taken the time to name it. That is all about to change—may I present for your consideration, Skirt Day.
Let me explain. Every year there is one freak day, usually in April, where the stars somehow align and it is 20 degrees warmer than logic or practical sense would normally allow. Predictably, the women of this campus emerge from their winter slumber and take the opportunity to wear the least amount of clothes they can. If I didn't know better, I would think they were instinctively waiting by the window for this very day.
But after a long season of coats, mittens and scarves, it seems only natural we would jump the gun in shedding the winter doldrums. I suspect it has something to do with the desire to reveal newly-tanned spring break commodities.
I know in February we turn to a rodent for our long term meteorology forecast, but I think Skirt Day does a way better job predicting how soon we'll be seeing consistently warm, sunny days.
Also, I'm pretty sure Bill Murray wouldn't mind living Skirt Day over and over.
From Library Mall to Bascom Hill, all the way over to the west side of campus where I assume people attend class, the student body rejoices. The lazy days of summer are a light at the end of the tunnel. Clearly, a day that lifts our spirits in such a way deserves recognition.
Since there is no set day when this phenomenon occurs, we'll arbitrarily say it happens on the first day of the year when it breaks 70 degrees. Or if it has been a particularly cold winter (or if we just get too antsy), we can lower it to say, 60. Too cold for skirts you say? You're clearly not a team player.
The benefit of having a day set aside for skirts seems obvious enough—predictability. No more must we wake up morning after morning to walk to class, only to be disappointed by hoodies and sweatpants. Now we can rise like children on Christmas Day, jumping out of bed in eager anticipation of the exhibition.
It is at this point I feel I must warn you of something ahead of time: The results of Skirt Day are not always as intended. It seems a cold Wisconsin winter eating bratwurst and cheese does not do a body good, if you catch my drift. But we can look past this, as no one is entirely free from this reality—myself most certainly included. Skirt Day is about hope and optimism.
Sadly, every year Skirt Day departs as fleetingly as it came. We are forced to endure a few more weeks of too-cold-for-skirts weather, and for the moment Skirt Day recedes from our minds, but never our hearts.
It is with these sentiments that I urge you to petition Mayor Dave to adopt Skirt Day as an official Madison holiday, if for nothing else but to see the look on his face.
