When I was nine, my parents wouldn't let me watch most PG-13 movies. I was certain I was the only kid in the whole world who didn't get to enjoy the crude hilarity of Happy Gilmore,"" the cool guns and aliens in ""Men in Black"" or the epic romance of ""Titanic."" In retrospect, I'm thankful that their parenting efforts saved me from losing three hours of my life to ""Titanic,"" but in general I felt left out.
My only saving grace was the James Bond series. Most were rated PG from the days prior to the PG-13 rating, so I didn't feel guilty when I secretly watched them at my friend Nick's house. A typical weekend for us involved sleepovers filled with Magic cards, a lot of Nintendo 64 and a Bond film or two as we fell asleep.
So the fact that ""Quantum of Solace,"" the 22nd Bond film, is coming out this Friday has me more than a little bit excited. Some of the changes the producers, director and writers have come up with, however, are very troubling.
As a classic Bond fan who has seen almost every installment, I have grown accustomed to the classic suave nature of Bond. The way he introduces himself as ""Bond, James Bond,"" the way he orders his martinis ""shaken, not stirred"" and the way he beds women with names that were clearly invented by 13-year-old boys, like ""Pussy Galore,"" ""Octopussy"" or ""Dr. Holly Goodhead.""
These omnipresent traits were like a teddy bear, nurturing me through the good (Sean Connery, Roger Moore), the bad (Pierce Brosnan) and the ugly (George Lazenby, Timothy Dalton).
What worries me is the widely-reported fact that ""Quantum of Solace"" purposely cut out the classic ""Bond, James Bond"" catchphrase, saying that it didn't seem to fit in any particular spot in the film. This move was approved by the producers, director Mark Forster and James Bond himself, actor Daniel Craig. While I understand the need to have some creative freedom, omitting one of the most famous lines in movie history is over the line.
Some fans really like the new direction the films have taken, portraying a rougher, early version of Bond. In ""Casino Royale,"" Craig's Bond is rebellious, angry, violent and generally portrays a young, untested Bond. ""Quantum of Solace"" continues that story arc, much like ""Batman Begins"" and ""The Dark Knight"" represented a new start for the Batman franchise rather than a continuation of the original films. I like both modern Batman films and ""Casino Royale,"" but still feel the directors owe a nod to tradition.
Bond is portrayed consistently throughout the series as a solitary being whose interactions are simply perfunctory with men and downright chauvinistic with women. Bond doesn't have friends or family, he has traditions. His catchphrases, his drinks, his flashy car and his nifty gadgets are the only continuous thing from film to film.
By depriving audiences their chance to stand up and cheer as Bond enters the room and introduces himself with style, the film is taking away the most significant ingredient to the essence of his character.
I'm still going to see the film opening weekend, and based on early reviews, I'm betting ""Quantum of Solace"" won't disappoint. Yet, when I leave the theater and think back to my youth, I'll be missing those three little words.
Have an idea for a new Bond catchphrase that will make Kevin forget his nostalgia? E-mail him at kevslane@gmail.com
