I was all set to send my editors a column about sexual fantasies. It was a good one, too. But you'll have to wait until next week, and the reason you'll have to wait is because I am so fucking pissed off.
Alleged Rape at Sigma Chi,"" screamed the headline from the front page of Wednesday's Badger Herald. I read the article, and the others inside the paper, including a transcript of the woman's interview. Over the course of my classes that day, I watched as other people read the articles. I watched the heads shake and the brows furrow. I heard the heavy sighs and the low murmurs.
And then I did something I knew I should not have done, but I did anyway - I read the online commentary:
""Maybe shes [sic] just a crazy bitch who freaked out the next day after she doesnt [sic] remember.""
""The whole thing seems a little fishy. Story comes out 5 months later? Not 1 name? Not 1 charge?""
""And how does she know she didn't consent the night before? I often find credit card bills for pizza or drinks I don't remember and retrospectively did not want but likely assented [sic] to in my intoxicated state.""
""women are crazy and will do something like this. don't step in the bullshit.""
""This interview was a case study in coastie behavior. Bravo.""
""She is acting as a victim, which she is, but also it is half her fault for getting so drunk in the first place.""
How interesting that every single one of these comments was posted by ""Anonymous.""
I'm not going to spend this column telling you how intoxicated individuals cannot legally give consent. I'm not going to spend this column telling you that people don't make up rape accusations because they're bored on a Saturday night. I'm not going to spend this column telling you that the responsibility to prevent or have prevented sexual assault never, ever falls on the survivor's shoulders.
For me, what aches and twists inside is the knowledge that I am a part of this vast culture that chooses to question or doubt the violence, hate and abuse rather than confront it and fight with all our souls to end it. The people who made these comments are presumably people who live in our dorms. Who sit next to us on the 80. Who smile at us from across the Terrace. They are our fellow Badgers, who Jump Around next to us at football games and trudge up Bascom Hill with us every day. These attitudes are real, and they are here, they are here, they are here. This, my fellow Badgers, is something that should render us speechless with embarrassment, make us cringe at our own indifference, make us hide our faces in disgrace - that we as a campus have reacted to this woman's story in this way. Not a single one of us has any right to judge its truth or merit based on a couple of articles - and yet we have. Not a single one of us has any right to speculate on the way the survivor ""should"" have behaved before, during or after the alleged attack - and yet we have.
Whether you believe this particular story, the next particular story or the 5,628 particular stories that came out of Wisconsin in 2004 (according to the Office of Justice Assistance), sexual assault happens. Rape happens. It's easier to believe the stories are false. It's easier to believe we can keep ourselves safe by ""... limiting drinking and always having a close friend to keep an eye on you"" (thank you, BH). If we pick out reasons this story is ""fishy,"" if we decide ""it is half her fault,"" then we do not have to acknowledge that sexual assault happens here. We do not have to consider that sexual assault could happen to our friends, our roommates, our lovers. We do not have to admit that sexual assault could happen to us.
In the ugly and menacing face of it, we have turned on a fellow Badger, one of our own. We called her ""crazy,"" ""bitch,"" and contested her story, her identity, her conduct, her character. We have perpetuated the culture of underreporting. We ourselves have shown all too clearly why so many survivors would and will choose to remain silent. For that, we should hang our heads in shame.
On, Wisconsin.
