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Full name: ASHLEY ""BACK THAT ASH UP"" SPENCER
All possible anagrams formed from your first name, middle name, last name, combination of the three, and the full name of your second cousin twice removed:
I'm not sure what an anagram is, and I refuse to take the time to Wikipedia that.
P.J. Hill.
Person you lost your virginity to: An unusually metrosexual UW law student who wore perfectly ironed linen pants when we met and liked to drink seltzer water. Whenever he had leftover pizza, he'd wrap each slice individually in tinfoil and arrange them neatly in his fridge. He liked to pretend he needed Magnums. This information will remain private right?
If you answered N/A, person you'd like to lose your virginity to (must be Facebook user): Someone who didn't spend more time ironing and polishing his perfectly manicured hands then trying to get me into bed.
Social Security number: N/A. I'm an illegal. Former name: Ashlita Spencero con queso.
All major credit card numbers, expiration dates, and security codes: Unfortunately, due to my lack of self-control, I do not have a credit card in my name. Just use The Daily Cardinal's expense account.
Gift you will use your credit card to buy Facebook Webmaster (No ShamWows, please): A virtual bitchslap tool to hit all fake-and-bake girls whose default shows too much boob in a skimpy bikini. Please, you're making me feel ugly and pale.
Three adjectives that describe yourself and don't contain the letter ""e"":
Soft-spokAn
Purty
Intilligint
Date, time, location of your last orgasm: 09/30/08, 3:02 a.m., Daily Cardinal Copy Desk, lights off threeway.
Other parties present: David Hottinger, Kiera Wiatrak, prosthetic vampire fangs, marijuana.
Was this your best orgasm? Y/N. Absolutely not. But I give them a C for effort.
TRUE/FALSE
I will join the group ""Holy Shit!! Lost my phone!!! Need your digits peoplezzz!!"" or one of related content T/F:
Sure. I'll also tag all my friends to that picture with all the cartoons, making sure to tag someone as "" The One that's Always Hungry."" Additionally, I will pick my top five beers and TV shows in hopes that my eighth grade crush might realize I got sufficiently cooler since I had a bowl-y haircut and an unflattering red puffy jacket everyone referred to as a ""BIG RED BOAT.""
I will put people over 40 on limited profile T/F:
Depends ... are they David- Duchovny 40, or Lyle Lovett-y and fug?
Weirdest Facebook Habit: Drunk FB chatting starting out with ALL CAPITAL long drawn out versions of their name. EXAMPLE: hEyyyyyyyyy KIIIIIIIEEEEERRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAA. Gets especially awkward with co-workers and bosses.
MULTIPLE CHOICE
I will sign on to Facebook:
a. 2-3 times HOURLY
b. to write something intriguing under my default picture that makes no sense to make other people think I'm interesting. EXAMPLE: Button balls. Curious? Thought so.
c. to detag pictures where I have more than one chin
d. to make sure the world knows I have good taste in TV shows, books and movies, and to make sure my taste matches those I find particularly attractive.
My profile picture will:
a. crop my friends out when they look better than me.
b. show off my uncanny ability to do beer bongs, keg stands, and play flip cup in Badger attire at 8:00 a.m. I'm so COLLEGE.
c. show my vampire-obsessed self biting something, currently Bucky Mascot.
d. never be of me giving a kissy face.
If you don't know what the fuck this means, read yesterday's column or e-mail aaspencer@wisc.edu.
