Sports writers, radio hosts and pundits are always comparing today's players to the great ones of the past. There's always the question of, who will be the next Michael Jordan? Who will be the next Hank Aaron? Is this team as good as the 1986 Celtics? I don't know how the sports world would live if they could never write comparison pieces or talk about them.
However, sometimes these comparisons get a bit stretched, and might go right over the heads of the common person, especially young fans.
But don't worry, I'm here to do a comparison that everyone can understand. Well, at least everyone who was alive in 1996, loved movies and had an infatuation with the song ""I Believe I Can Fly"" by R. Kelly.
If ""Space Jam"" were released in today's world, who would play the lead role of Michael Jordan, and what five players would the Nerdlucks steal talent from to use for their MonSTARS?
LeBron James for Michael Jordan
Why was Jordan so good in this role? Because he was the most famous athlete at the time, everyone wanted to be him and all kids adored him. In today's world, that sounds a lot like LeBron James.
What player in the NBA would you best be able to see talking to a cartoon Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck without looking like an idiot? There's only one answer, and that's LeBron.
Kevin Garnett for Charles Barkley
Yes, I know what you're thinking: This comparison makes no sense and you're an idiot. But hear me out—both make for hilarious cartoon versions of themselves.
Come on, can't you see a cartoon KG with smoke flying out of his ears running through walls, thumping his chest and, on occasion, spontaneously exploding? I think it's the perfect fit for power forward of the MonSTARs.
Tim Duncan for Patrick Ewing
Both are hall-of-fame players, both are dominating power forwards and both have a quiet demeanor to them. This one is a no-brainer. You'd just have to turn Duncan into the quiet evil genius of the group, and he'd fit in perfectly.
Elton Brand for Larry Johnson
Both were solid players but neither were heralded as top players. LJ was plagued with injury, and Brand never seemed to live up to expectations aside from his beginnings in Chicago and a decent year with the Clippers.
Brand's MonSTAR would just hang out in the background sluggishly, but would make a few boring shots in the game.
Dirk Nowitzki for Shawn Bradley
Tall. Lanky. Born in Germany.
Nate Robinson for Muggsy Bogues
Does this even have to be explained? Fine. Height.
So there you have it, today's new ""Space Jam"" cast. LeBron would be playing golf with Shaq, Dwayne Wade and Bill Murray (you can't take him out!), and Usher would be singing today's version of ""I Believe I Can Fly.""
Now that's a comparison I can get behind.
—Think Gabe's ""Space Jam"" team is completely wrong? Send him an e-mail at ubatuba@wisc.edu.
