A recent study finds that Madison newspaper readers feel ""more satisfied"" after 15 minutes with The Daily Cardinal than its competing area papers.
The study, completed this March by the Partnership of Outstanding Newspapers (POON), found that during those special moments immersed in journalistic ecstasy, girth is more important than length to Madison readers.
""We've always sought to please our readers and thought we did well, but you never know when readers are just faking it to be nice,"" the Cardinal said in a press release. ""It's nice to have this validation, and frankly, hearing the news gets us up and ready to please our readers again—it really excites us.""
More than 70 percent of surveyed readers admitted society puts too much emphasis on length of a publication, saying they favored a wider product instead.
POON President Patricia J. Sneade said she has seen more and more newspapers opting for a wider product to offer their customers, even on the national level.
""Take the Chicago Tribune, for instance,"" Sneade said. ""When they quit worrying about their length, just relaxed and accepted a wider frame, customer satisfaction soared.""
UW student Thibaut Bussière wasn't surprised by the results, but he was confounded by other papers' efforts to actually appear thinner.
""I find the Cardinal enjoyably penetrating on a consistent basis, if they opted for a thinner approach I'm sure it would leave me wanting,"" he said. ""Hopefully other papers will stop beating themselves up to look longer and thinner; it's a losing situation for everyone involved.""
Other area papers declined to comment.
Readers who have read the competing papers for periods of longer than four hours are advised to consult a physician.
